Summer Rant – Bad Choices

Things are humming along with this summer’s TV specials and series and although Torchwood - Children of Earth will be broadcast this week in North America, I followed the series night by night as it was broadcast in the UK a couple of weeks ago and started off hopeful and intrigued and ended up disappointed and pissed off. I know that the Brits are not known for the Disney formula “Happily ever after”, but the death of Ianto and the departure of Jack for space left a bad taste in my mouth that was flavoured with homophobia and failure. If the BBC didn’t want Torchwood around they would have been better to not produce any more instead of this tripe that completely deconstructed everything and just seemed wrong. I don’t think we will be seeing much more of Torchwood and it’s a shame as it was well written and had some fascinating characters. Another brilliant show that died a terrible death before it’s time.

So you think you can Dance? has already gone to Top Ten and now to the Final 8. Wade Robson is a mad genius and I was in awe at his incredible number that he put together for our Ten. Although I was disappointed that Kupono was nuked this week (but have to agree that he failed miserably at the Paso Doble) and it seems that America is not ready for a kind of androgynous dancer. I don’t see why they can’t have an openly gay competitor (it’s dance, not that it’s new to have a gay man doing it) and maybe soon they will be ready for it. It’s was a shame that Randi was eliminated, but one of the girls had to go and she wasn’t bringing anything different than what the other girls can bring, and she did the same cardinal sin from last year that if you wear a wig and the voting public can’t recognize you, you will be eliminated. I will say that I was pretty shocked that Ade and Melissa were near the bottom of the pack, they both seem to be incredible dancers and look great on camera. I have the feeling that Evan will be packing his bags soon, and even though Jason picked it up this week and did a great number, I am not feeling the love and am getting tired of him mugging for the camera and playing cute. The combination of Mary Murphy and Debbie Allan on the Judging panel is something damn fierce, and Mary’s comment that she is not allowed to touch the contestants must stem from that famous Paula Abdul affair with American Idol. Still, the Cougar level was on High Alert with the boys doing their African number and combined with the Bollywood number with all the girls, brought even more World Dance to the stage. The show is really exposing the public to all genres of dance and that is a very good thing. If we could just do something about Cat’s hit and miss stylist this show would be pretty close to perfection.

The Next Food Network Star just made a major boo boo with the past couple of episodes. Our plucky nutritionist was bumped even thought Jamika failed completely at both of the challenges. I don’t agree that one was kept just because she has a certain resemblance to a certain wife of an President…. I really thought the Judges would have been above that but it appears not. Poor Michael might be great with a crowd but can’t connect to the camera and was destined to be bumped.I still think Debbie is going to win, and has the biggest potential out of the remaining competitors.

The Fashion Show is winding up and the finale was a decent show. I was happy to see Reco bumped after that debacle with the Wedding dress, and it was either him or James-Paul that was destined to be bumped at the end. James-Paul is just too way out there, and I didn’t even get his concept of Aboriginal people wearing western clothing as most tribal clothing is more intricate than his geometric shapes. I liked the multi-purpose idea of his collection, but any piece of clothing that comes with an instruction manual sounds like too much work for me. Daniella’s collection was interesting but too masculine for my taste.I really loved the entire collection put together by Anna and think that she should take home the big prize, she had the most wearable and interesting collection and I really did see her underlying theme flow through the collection.

I have loved the first new episodes of Eureka and it’s nice to see all the gang together and Carter continuing to be the glue that holds all the chaos together. This show and Burn Notice are 2 great examples of well developed concepts and well written shows that stick to the essential elements that make them a success. Of course it doesn’t hurt that both shows have sexy leading men that know how to take charge, have some kick ass women that back them up and some surprises every week. I was in hysterics when Michael’s mom decided to help out with the interrogation and has started to help out in a more tangible way.The chemisty between the characters is as great as ever.

The Superstars is turning into one of my biggest Guilty Pleasures and I keep tuning in to see more of Maksim Chmerkovskiy from Dancing with the Stars compete like a madman and look damn fine doing it. The rest of the teams seem to be on revolving doors with contestants coming and going, and I was applauding our bitchy supermodel Joanna as she had her meltdown when her partner Tyrell quit the competition to go to training camp. The games are fun and quite varied and it will be interesting to see how all of this plays out. It’s fun and light summer fare.

Wrapping things up, I survived a Japanese Game Show is as hilarious and even more fun than last year with all the wacky games and challenges. The whole concept is so foreign in many ways, and the look inside of the Japanese psyche is quite the show. The claws are coming out and the way the teams are dividing and fighting against each other is adding more steam to a high pressure situation and things are getting very hot. In this week’s Elimination round, love birds Jamie and Drew pitted against each other. When I saw the challenge involved deep-throating squid to dismember them, I was pretty sure that Jamie had it in the bag and true to form our girl performed like a champion and won.Unfortunately it meant the end of Drew who was the cutest competitor, but such is the competition. The walk of shame at the end of each episode is always so poignant and ironic as our contestant walk off into the sunset in their final Majide costume. Very funny stuff – in a mean kind of a way.

Summer Rant – High Performance

Since things are in “Summer mode” here at Couch Potato Central, the scheduling has gone to ranting about the tube once per week (hey it’s Canada here and you try to enjoy those few weeks of hot weather per year) and has led to the birth of the Summer Rant. It’s a catchy name that pays homage to the heat and crazy summer programming and more sporadic postings.

When we get around to the Top Ten on So you think you can Dance? I will probably be inspired to throw my rant amongst all the others on who should stay and who should go but I will say that I am very impressed with the quality of dance this time around, and although it will be a short lived title, this round’s favourite dancer will have paid their dues to make it to the end. I was really happy to see that Brandon was finally getting some love from Mia Michaels on the judging panel. I was not shocked with this week’s dismissal of Vitolio and Karla as they were the weakest of the herd, and I was thrilled that Kupuno is starting to get more of the love that he deserves. It’s a tight race for the guys as they are all pretty strong but there is something about Ade that makes me think he is a strong contender for the crown. Jason and Phillip need to step up their game, they are next on the block and might be dancing for their lives more often than they like. I think they all learned the lesson this week that you if you need to bring it then you better really bring it, dancing for your life is not a snappy title it’s the reality of the situation.

On the girl’s side, Cat was better dressed than the monstrosity she was wearing last week, and I am in absolute awe of the incredible lines that Melissa is pulling out, her Ballet piece was phenomenal and was another ground breaking performance for this show. I love how it is bring all sorts of styles of dance back to TV, and the quality of the new professionals that are getting involved in the show. The girls are all performing their hearts out and aside from a lacklustre solo, I really think that Caitlan and Janette are really going for it and have shown a ton of potential so far.The whole Dizzy Feet Foundation is a great idea (and I love how it highlights that incestuous relationship with Dancing with the Stars and includes that wacky Paula Abdul) and that upcoming guest appearance of Katie Holmes better deliver more than a brainwashed baby momma. Time will tell. Damn I love this show.

I have been having a blast watching The Superstars and seeing one of my favourite Dancers from Dancing with the Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, running around shirtless and doing damn well in a pretty tough athletic competition. There seem to be a ton of big egos with all those biceps and it’s fun to watch all the celebrities strut their stuff à la Battle of the Network Stars ( that series really, really needs to be redone properly) with a tad of American Gladiators thrown in and musical teams as participants keeping getting eliminated due to injury. They are all suffering these injustices at the scenic Paradise Island Resort in the Bahamas. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

WipeOut is even crueller than last year and we have been in hysterics watching (and rolling on the floor) with the scathing commentary by the 2 Johns. Hilarious. I love the new challenges and am kicking myself that I didn’t apply for the home grown version. Between this show and I survived a Japanese Game Show, there is a ton of ridiculous situations and hilarious costumes that always make me question the Japanese sense of humour and their need to humiliate the competitors in games that probably shouldn’t even be considered let alone attempted. Talk about extreme risks in some of these challenges, I am surprised that we haven’t seen someone take a nasty spill that they can’t get up from yet.

My Expedition Africa experience is not turning out how I really wanted, and the series is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t understand most of the drama on the show (and it seems like a waste of time),and for a gang of so called experienced explorers, they are starting to look more and more like knobs each episodes. I would love to know what their Porters are saying about them behind their backs and how ridiculous that they look most of the time. It’s a shame, I thought it would be more of a chance to see the country and it’s people and it is more about the drama – sigh…. I expected more…

On that note… The Fashion Show is wrapping up (there are some miracles…) and it has been a major snore fest. I can’t wrap my head around their real fashion for unreal people concept and the end results. It was time for our magical little Honduran elf to say adios, and I have the feeling that our geeky Asian guy is not far behind. I thing the psychic was the best part of the episode and if they decide to do a second season, skip to her right away and decide the winner before putting me through another season of Not-Beyonce and Isaac. I am looking forward to new Project Runway and some real drama and fashion!

On the comedy side of the coin .. the last few episodes of Better of Ted have been hilarious and I love the satire of working for a big company (Veridian Dynamics) and the way the characters deal with the questionable ethics and the überboss Veronica has had me in hysterics every episode. Her deadpan presentation is hysterical and I love the way she dismisses people, it is one of the funniest scripted things that I have seen recently. It’s a shame that Samantha Who? is burning off the remaining episodes as it is very funny and the characters well developed.I still hold out hope that it will be rescued but this year has been rough on losing well written shows.

This week will be a ton of fun with Torchwood – Children of Earth playing over 5 nights on BBC One (and will be shared online if the gods of the internet are feeling generous) and I am looking forward to getting back in touch with Captain Jack and gang. It’s a great week for Sci-Fi with  the beginning of Warehouse 13 and the return of EUReKA, one of my favourite shows. Vive l' été!

Weekend Rant – Get ME out of here!

I have been laughing my ass off watching the insane antics on I’m a Celebrity, get me out of here! and all of the stupid and ridiculous challenges that seem to put more flora and fauna in danger than the so called celebrities. The Snake strike challenge was too much and was it any surprise that the snakes were trying to escape? The whole mud pit challenge was just as whack with the crocodiles that seemed to be everywhere at the beginning and then conveniently gone after. After all of that I was almost crying when poor Janice got ousted at the end of last week. I was really hoping to see her hang around and get tortured a tad more before losing. If I am rooting for anyone, it will be our sexually ambiguous singer Sanjaya to win the cash for his charity, but does he seriously think that he is straight? – even Janice can read the writing on the wall with that one but he is so much in denial and it is all just as clueless as his singing. I still don’t understand why the other Baldwin is still there but it is such a car wreck of a show that I can’t help myself… I just love bad TV. I can hardly wait until it ends, it’s sucking up too much of my valuable time!

Speaking of which – I am starting to get peeved that I can’t find some of my favourite shows online and can no longer see this season of Tori & Dean- Home Sweet Hollywood – it really sucks as the files are usually available on line and I may have to wait for the show to come out on DVD to catch up – I never understand why some shows are harder to find to download when you think that the producers want people to see the show – too bad for them and it looks like I am losing something off the Watch List.

So you think you can Dance ? is really burning up the screen this round (and I can’t believe that they will start the next round right after this one – it doesn’t give much time for this winner to be America’s favourite dancer, but the competition is so stunning that I can hardly wait for more. My biggest concern was on the performance night and I saw that it looked like Cat’s old stylist had done another bad choice with that hideous red dress that she was wearing. Thankfully it was not around for the Results night, but if she starts wearing all those hideous gowns again she will need some serious fashion therapy. After last week’s poor showing, I was in literal awe over the beauty and flow (and not to mention the emotion) of the beautiful Waltz that was performed by Asuka and Vitolio. I am still surprised by the curious and strangely almost incestuous relationship between SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars (and that terrible Superstars of Dance show) that are all produced by Nigel and Co. It’s just weird and wonderful to see dancers leave one show for another and to see choreographers like Louis Van Amstel come over to this show. I do have to agree that this show has probably done more for dance than others and it really is turning into an incredible showcase of world dance.

The Judges have some very tough decisions, and this week I disagree again with their choice of guy that was eliminated, I thought that Max did an incredible job with the Brian Friedman choreography (just amazing) but because he was a “different” character (meaning he seemed kind of gay) was the reason that he got bumped. Jason should have been hitting the road after that terrible Shane Spark’s number (I was not a big fan of Shane this week and thought he was the weakest choreographer) and Phillip was closer to elimination with his troubles with the Tango. A few of the guys really stepped it up and I was stunned by the speed of the disco number and Brandon – wow – I assumed the guy was a gym bunny and it seems all those muscles are hard earned dancing.I was happy that Kupuno was not eliminated this week (he had a close call though) as he has a certain style and flair all his own, and I love how he can adapt to different styles. He was a tad lazy in his solo and that was problematic. I was pretty sure that Ashley was toast after a lacklustre solo (it was not even close to dancing for her life) and was not surprised that she was booted. The competition is great this year and it has already been astounding to watch. I was raving over the Mia Michael’s number that opened the results show and can hardly wait to see her take on one of the couples, and it was so cute to see home land girl Stacey Tookey hitting the US show after being such a success on SYTYCD Canada.

I was thrilled with the return of I survived a Japanese Game Show this week after the latest instalment of Wipeout. I am still fascinated with the Japanese culture and their weird shows, and Majide is still as wild and fun as ever. It’s really hard to take some one seriously when they are dressed in some of the ridiculous costumes (the rabbits were hilarious) but I love all the creatively humiliating costumes and wacky wacky games. Those Japanese people are damn strange sometimes… they really like to humble the Americans and I know that they love seeing the big guy Bobaloo in tights and running around as much as it probably frightened me. I will be watching with much gusto how things work out and to see Mama-San and Judge Bob deal with these poor contestants. It is a bit more interesting that the winners get some really fun prizes and that the losers will have to do same damn disgusting ones, so it should hopefully eliminate some of the worst players to start with. Luckily it was the prima donna Kimberly that got eliminated this week and Sayonara, back to America for her. It will be fun to see how badly the other players want to win. Hard to say who can win, but Drew is the big kind of athletic guy that might be able to do it, but you never know… hai majide!

Burn Notice has been so much fun to watch this season, and it feels better than the awkward chemistry of last year. Michael seems to be getting more at ease with his friends helping out, there seems to be better sparks with Fiona (and those 2 are so great together) and it feels like the first season again. I love Michael’s deadpan explanations on how he can MacGyver things together and all the different insights into being a spy, and how he can observe and piece things together and make it work for him. The stories have been building up some great tension with the new thorn in Michael’s side, dear Detective Paxson, who seems to think that it is her mission to know all about our ex Spy.The show has this sexy feeling to it that goes perfectly with Miami and is just the perfect fare for the hot season.

I am still playing catch up with a few things and enjoying the relaxed summer schedule, and looking forward to seeing some of the last episodes of Samantha Who? (I think it was stupid to cancel the show, it was well written) and more of Better off Ted, one of the funniest things that I have seen in quite awhile. I have been finding the Expedition Africa show interesting as I am fascinated with the land and culture, but am starting to find the cast of characters a tad stunned. They all seem way out of their element for so called professionals that have done this a million times before, but they all seem so poorly prepared for things like wild animals and the search for water. I am not sure if it is the editing that drags down the episodes, but there is weird chemistry between the cast of characters and the flow is just strange. Good premise and poor execution, it kind of reminds me of Pirate Master from last season.This week will also premiere Triple Sensation on CBC and the premise looks interesting for a reality show as it is anchored in the performing arts and is the search for the next and best Broadway type performer who can sing, act and dance. The first episode will decide if I chose to follow this journey as well. Here’s hoping the show is interesting and it showcases some more of the fabulous talent here in Canada!

Reality Round Up - Winning Week

Things got wrapped up this week for this edition of American Gladiators and what a ride this past season has been. Not only have they added tons of new events and gladiators, but the original events are back and the pantheon of Gladiators have been getting their groove on in a serious way.

Crush has become one of our favorites at home, and we are always in complete awe as she decimates competitor after competitor. Not only is she one tough cookie, but drop dead gorgeous and has a certain twinkle in her eye and that sly little grin. She has passed Hellga as our favorite female Gladiator. Don't get us wrong, we love Hellga but find Crush more exciting to watch. We are still waiting for the gender confirmation tests before we give our opinion on Steel. Something just doesn't add up for some reason.

Gender issues aside, the competitions have been great and the finale was a great example of athletes pushing themselves as far as they can go. Seeing all those bangs and bruises all over the competitors brings the reality a bit closer home, and considering that all the finalists were smaller guys and girls, the sheer size difference between the huge hulking gladiators and them was bound to leave a few marks. There have been many a night that we look at how huge the Gladiators are and realize that the are twice the size of us mere mortals. Here's hoping we get even more next year.

Make sure that you don't miss the spoof of American Gladiators (the aptly named Almost American Gladiators) Thursday night on this week's edition of Reality Bites Back on Comedy Central. If it is any where near as brilliant as their other spoofs it will be a real hoot.

I Survived a Japanese Game Show found it's survivor last night, and it was the charming Justin Wood (who reminds me of Joel McHale of The Soup) who survived all the wacky challenges and took home $250,000 for his time. The Japanese certainly have some weird challenges in their game shows and I am almost ashamed to say that I loved the Squishy Squishy challenge last night, which had the finalists collecting Squishy juice in a giant Sumo sponge costume, running an obstacle course and then squeezing the juice out at the end. The Japanese seem to like things that are embarrassing or that seem to mimic bodily functions, or go for the bizarre like the Bug Splatter on Windshield challenge. The show was weird and different and I thought it was an interesting look at Japanese culture and the behind the scenes of one of their most popular shows, Majide. It probably won't be back for another season, but I enjoyed the competition. Hai? Majide!

Wipeout! The newest summer addiction

Last night heralded the debut of the most fun I have seen in ages.... ladies and gentleman, if you missed the premiere of Wipeout, check it out on the ABC site ( I was trying to add something to the page and it kept crashing) to see all the hilarity. I have not laughed this hard in ages and hope that we get a whole whack of episodes.
I was thrilled to see (and hear) that John Henson is one of the hosts on duty as he was throwing out the wickedest comments about the participants last night. He slayed me with his comment that one of the girls had the build of a garden gnome and the mouth of a trucker.. the guy is too much and I have very fond memories of him hosting Talk Soup all those years ago. I hope Joel over at the Soup gives you guys a shout out this week.
Things followed up nicely with " I Survived a Japanese Game Show " which was a good follow up.. and very weird show. Damn things are weird in Japan, but you have to love Mama-san and the Bug Splatter on the Windshield elimination round. What next?? I can hardly wait to find out!