Reality Round up - Stick a fork in it - it's done

I was happy that Top Design was coming back to the airwaves after the inaugural season last year. The challenges were interesting enough, and the combination of Todd Oldham (muted but sexy), Jonathan Adler (seriously funny catchphrase man) and Kelly Wearstler (best hair ever on a Judge) with Margaret Russell (she tries so hard to be Nina but will never be) and now new host India Hicks. I think they mentioned that India's father is a great designer at least a million times during the episode, and while it is fun that she has designer in her pedigree... she is more know for being a fashion model. She was a pretty good host though, and I think that Todd works better as the mentor. There was not enough time with Todd this episode and I hope to see more of him in the future challenges.

The new Pop Design Challenge is an interesting concept -- and I have to say that Robert is turning into the biggest douche (so far) in the challenges by throwing his partner Preston under the bus after the first challenge. We all saw how much of a douche he is being and he was damned lucky to not be eliminated this week. Preston was amazing, and our little Martha Stewart boy (Eddie) looks like he might be up for a few challenges and ready to make his mark.

Just from first impressions (and after seeing our designers in action with the 'Impress the best' apartment makeover challenge for the Judges with a budget of $2000), Andrae ,Preston,Nathan and Eddie are on my radar as interesting. Shazia is a train wreck (I can`t believe how error prone that woman is) and Serge is just too young and in to his own thing to care about what the client wants. Robert should get a few of those forks from his shadow box Pop Design Challenge stuck in him for being so two faced and letting his team down.

It was an interesting start -- now to see the games begin and let`s see that Kelly with some wild hair -- that was always a highlight last season.

Project Runway stuck a knife in my heart this week with the aufing of Stella. I loved the challenge to create a look inspired by the fall collection of a fashion icon (and guest Judge) Diane Von Furstenberg. I don't think that Stella has the worst design (Joe was a disaster) and I was really unhappy to see her leave. She is one of the more talented designers and you can't get past her honesty. Stella's final comments? If you don't like her stuff then don't buy it. You will be missed Stella...

As for the Challenge --- Korto and Leanne were on fire as they really got it and created some lovely clothes. Leanne won her second Challenge in a row and is a force to be reckoned with. If some one does not get rid of Suede soon, Suede will be pushed off a building. Suede and the baked one (sigh -- so sad) have got to go, I still don't understand why Blayne is still around after the amount of crap he has produced. Maybe it's the comic relief thing they are looking for but is it really necessary? Don't get me started about the whole stupid Mary Kate thing... I don't agree again this week on their choice of the worst ... this show is really pissing me off this year. Project Runway Canada won't be back until 2009, so it's not like I have much choice.

Reality Bites Back finished off the season with their big spoof of as many reality shows as possible in "American Surv-idoler’s Kitchen". After last week's elimination of Mo at the end to the Amazing Disgrace (astounding spoof on the Amazing Race) it was down to Amy and Theo to win the big prize. Michael Ian Black was as hilarious as ever in his spoofing of reality hosts... and the Survivoresque feeling could not be missed. Best product placement ever in a reality show had to be the McDonald’s Dollar Menu Tree. Each of contestants had to sing at different times (American Idol), make alliances (Survivor), build a Pita Hut (the Kitchen part) before taking part in the final Tribal Council with guest Judges from Big Brother, Survivor and Beauty and the Geek. Theo wins (crap -- I wanted Amy to win) and I hope they can try to do this again... there is too much fodder out there and their level of parody was brilliant.

I have managed to catch up with Outsider's Inn and it's all I could want in a trashy reality show and more. I know the celebrity running a Bed & Breakfast has already been done (Tori & Dean- Inn Love) but the combination of these 3 celebrities and the whole set up is just insane. I cannot believe for 1 minute that Maureen (Marcia) is good friends with Carnie and Bobby. Puhleese! That's just completely nuts -- but the country and redneck feel of the series (I love the support staff) has me hooked. This week's episode with the combination of guest coming to go Bear hunting, the Apple Pie affair and the whole Maureen willing to "take one for the team" was just too much. CMT is turning into one of my Guilty Pleasures with this and Redneck Wedding. Damn, these show are just too funny.

Weekend Rant - End Zone & New Beginnings

Shear Genius pulled out of the penultimate episode with a Seeing Double Short-cut Challenge (involving twins and a guaranteed place in the finale) and then the Avant-garde photo Challenge with guest Judge Michael Grecco.

The Short-cut Challenge (with guest Judge Jose Eber) was set up as a sudden double booking and our stylists got the twin of their client. I thought that Dee was going to explode (or need a towel) when she saw she had hot twins ... maybe this is some long time fantasy like many a straight man? Nicole did a dark and light version of her twins (I think they were the only ones willing to make that drastic of a change) and ended up winning the Challenge and getting a spot in the Finale.

I am not sure if I really agree with all the Judging (and Nicole has never won a single challenge to date) and I don't agree that she should be in the Finale. Maybe they had to make sure that the Finale wasn't completely gay ... just to be politically correct or some other crap -- it's not like there are tons of gay stylists -- anyways --

We get around to the big Avant-garde photo shoot and our Final Four are each given a season as a theme. Nicole gets Winter ,Dee gets Fall , Charlie gets Summer and Daniel gets Spring. They are all shown the set and get to meet with Michael Grecco (who seems to be quite the demanding photographer) and get a rough idea of how the shoot is supposed to go. Each of the stylists has a different challenge, Nicole has to work with her model laying in snow,Dee's client is jumping on a trampoline, Charlie's model is on a swing, and Daniel's model will be "lightly misted" during the shoot.

After all the prep and initial work it is clear that Dee and Nicole are way out of their element as they are struggling with the hair and how the shoot is going. Dee gets called on doing the same cut (again) that doesn't move well with the motion of the photo and if Nicole didn't have that Immunity and guaranteed place in the Finale she would have been out on her ass. Her shoot is a disaster is the snow and her styling is terrible.

Charlie seems to have not hit things off well with Grecco to start with, but quickly adjusts things and gets a nice photo off. I really think he is the only one in the gang that had even a clue about what the Challenge was and did a good job. He wins ( of course) and is very happy.

Poor Daniel has to deal with more than a simple misting -- his client is hosed down like she is on fire (Daniel doesn't miss a beat and is hilarious about the whole thing) but he has really missed the boat on the whole Avant-garde theme. Daniel likes to do big old Dallas hair and for some fracking reason has decided to put a big red braid in the model's hair that irks the shit out of Grecco and seals Daniel's fate. Our Texas boy is eliminated and next week is the beauty bloodbath between Charlie (sure to win) against Dee (nice try) and Nicole (no hope in hell).

Tabatha's Salon Takeover hit the airwaves this week with the first episode and I already completely hooked. I loved Tabatha in the first season of Shear Genius and she is so cold and robotic most of the time that it is really, really scary. You would almost think that the machines are starting to become self aware in a Sky Net kind of a way. Anyways -- Tabatha knows her stuff and when she arrives, people inevitably looked scared shitless and in panic mode. If you are not doing your job or don't know your stuff she will let you know. The Queen B has no issues with rank or responsibility as she takes over the salon and is clearly in command of those around her. I did like how they tried to show her softer side (not that soft but if you get a compliment from her you really appreciate it) and when she tells you to stop crying and put to put that energy in to something productive, I get visions of Martha Stewart on steroids. Tears are for the weak but at least she is not bad abrasive in that Gordon Ramsay kind of way and she can get her point across with out being too mean... just blunt enough to make your head spin.

Her first challenge was with a couple that really need some guidance and she did some pretty amazing work. It was nice to see follow up at the end of the episode (quite often you see the make over but not the lasting result) and to see how the changes worked out for the client several weeks later and if things have turned around for the better. I think if Tabatha has anything to do with, things will be successful, she doesn't look like the type to waste her time or energy.

Reality Bites Back hit another win with Hunting with the Stars this week. Why you may ask? "Because America always loves it when you pair someone you know from something with someone you don’t know at all." says hilarious host Michael Ian Black. Each of the remaining comics are paired up with what appears to be an E List “celebrity” partner and we get a look at them as they have time to practice their hunting skills. Theo gets paired up with the infamous Kato Kaelin, Amy is with former teen idol Leif Garrett, Chris gets Chyna the wrestler , and Mo is with none other than Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady). After the first competition (based on their intro clip -- The Preceding Edited Package Challenge -- this show is just too brilliant) Mo and Susan are safe. After the Capture the Swag Challenge, Amy and Leif are safe as they have collected the most Swag Bags with out being shot by the other teams. In the final round our remaining contestants(Theo and Chris) get to Hunt the Stars, and who ever does it in the fastest time stays in the game. I am not sure who said it but the "Look, Chyna just got shot in the balls" comment had me in hysterics. The level of parody these comedians are doing is brilliant at times.

Theo wins and poor Chris is sent home. The montage of Chris failing miserably was brilliant and I can't believe that next week is the parody of the Amazing Race -- The Amazing Disgrace !

My glut of the Olympics is almost over ( I am looking forward to the end after 2 weeks of intense viewing) and I can hardly wait to see the closing ceremonies. This was an amazing experience seeing so much of the games in HD and I can honestly say that I am humbled by the power and determination of the athletes. It's all very awe inspiring stuff and a nice change in the viewing schedule. I am looking forward to a more regular viewing schedule, and the return of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency this week. No other show screams Guilty Pleasures more than this one with all the hot gay and straight guys, the beautiful and kinda screwed up models and all those crazy and dramatic situations that Janice seems to put herself into. It looks like things are getting geared up for the upcoming fall season and I can hardly wait.

Weekend Rant - Hitting the Finish Line

Even with all the world breaking events happening in the Olympics, some of the TV landscape is changing and this week heralded the season finales of Flipping Out and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. I was pretty full of Jeff and Co. and didn't really need the Reunion Special to tie things up (at this point I could care less -- I have so lost interest), and Kathy's season, overall, left me feeling luke warm and glad that it was over. Kathy has risen above her so called D List stature and has lost part of her appeal to me. Maybe it's me, but I preferred the Kathy that was willing to go that extra mile for her fans (and gays) and there was too much of her success and fabulous friends this season. I also felt a bit deceived by the whole Woz thing... after Kathy's last relationship problems I was hoping it was something serious and good for her and now it feels like none of it was real. That's probably more of the realization that this season was too scripted and too much in all the wrong ways. It didn't feel as Emmy winning this year -- that is probably what happens when success goes to your head.

The Olympics have been phenomenal so far --- I can't get over how many world records are falling to the wayside this time around and I am very impressed with Michael Phelps and his quest for the most medals. Hot stuff.... and I am still in complete awe watching most of the competitions. The beach volleyball has been incredible and I have been completely addicted to seeing Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor continue their winning streak (105 games) and had one small panic attack the other day when it looked like they were going to lose and they pulled a rabbit out of the hat to win that one. I still can not get over how well they are doing and I have to applaud all the athletes that have been pushing themselves beyond the limits of us mere mortals and doing Olympian feats.

My only complaint is that even with major HD channels, I don't get enough choice or variety as it seems all the networks are playing pretty much the same thing. Can't beat the HD though -- I have never seen so many athletes in so much detail. It's a visual orgy and it makes the competitions even that more interesting. The 3 networks (NBC,CBC and Radio-Canada) are all offering various insights in to Beijing (and China) via special reports, and I have to say that those on Radio-Canada reported by Jean-René Dufort (aka Infoman) have been the funnest of the gang. CBC had Sean Majumder doing his Raj Binder schtick (and not being that terribly amusing -- how I wish it was Rick Mercer doing the reports instead) but have redeemed themselves with the interesting Ying & Yang series by Sook-yin Lee. NBC has been putting out Mary Carillo: Exploring China which has made for some interesting yet strangely odd reports. Mary seems like to ask those silly questions that all of us think, but don't want to articulate because we might look like a special needs case. She has the most fascinating voice and presence about her ... enough to keep my attention and sigh "oh my god" when she makes one of her off the wall comments.

Reality Bites Back was hilarious in last week's Almost American Gladiators, and had me in hysterics in this week's installment of So you think you can Dive? Not only did we get a hilarious spoof of a reality competition show, they threw in a Rose ceremony and a Boardroom scene. It was all hilarious stuff and the parodies are getting better and better each time. This week we had former Olympic gold medal diver Greg Louganis as a Judge, and the free style part of the competition was outstanding. I felt Amy's dive of shame was the most creative and was glad to see her still in the competition. Mo is definitely the sexiest, Theo is trying to play up the good boy character and poor Bert tried his hardest to turn on our Judge but got shot down. After seeing the preview for next week's Hunting with the Stars (which looks like it does includes hunting the stars) I can hardly wait. This looks like one of those rare gems in the reality TV universe.

Reality Round Up - Winning Week

Things got wrapped up this week for this edition of American Gladiators and what a ride this past season has been. Not only have they added tons of new events and gladiators, but the original events are back and the pantheon of Gladiators have been getting their groove on in a serious way.

Crush has become one of our favorites at home, and we are always in complete awe as she decimates competitor after competitor. Not only is she one tough cookie, but drop dead gorgeous and has a certain twinkle in her eye and that sly little grin. She has passed Hellga as our favorite female Gladiator. Don't get us wrong, we love Hellga but find Crush more exciting to watch. We are still waiting for the gender confirmation tests before we give our opinion on Steel. Something just doesn't add up for some reason.

Gender issues aside, the competitions have been great and the finale was a great example of athletes pushing themselves as far as they can go. Seeing all those bangs and bruises all over the competitors brings the reality a bit closer home, and considering that all the finalists were smaller guys and girls, the sheer size difference between the huge hulking gladiators and them was bound to leave a few marks. There have been many a night that we look at how huge the Gladiators are and realize that the are twice the size of us mere mortals. Here's hoping we get even more next year.

Make sure that you don't miss the spoof of American Gladiators (the aptly named Almost American Gladiators) Thursday night on this week's edition of Reality Bites Back on Comedy Central. If it is any where near as brilliant as their other spoofs it will be a real hoot.

I Survived a Japanese Game Show found it's survivor last night, and it was the charming Justin Wood (who reminds me of Joel McHale of The Soup) who survived all the wacky challenges and took home $250,000 for his time. The Japanese certainly have some weird challenges in their game shows and I am almost ashamed to say that I loved the Squishy Squishy challenge last night, which had the finalists collecting Squishy juice in a giant Sumo sponge costume, running an obstacle course and then squeezing the juice out at the end. The Japanese seem to like things that are embarrassing or that seem to mimic bodily functions, or go for the bizarre like the Bug Splatter on Windshield challenge. The show was weird and different and I thought it was an interesting look at Japanese culture and the behind the scenes of one of their most popular shows, Majide. It probably won't be back for another season, but I enjoyed the competition. Hai? Majide!

Weekend Rant - Hits and Misses

This week may have seemed to be a shocker for a lot of So you think you can Dance? fans as golden boy Will hit the road, but if you look over his little bio that played during the competitions this week (they were doing individual spotlight stories on each dancer and finding out why they dance) I think it may have given the impression that Will was already very blessed as far as dance life went. The guy had already been given a scholarship with dance Über goddess Debbie Allan, and I think this may have made people less likely to vote for him, as the people does love an underdog. Unfortunately Comfort was let go of this week also (and for her, this was the second and final time) and in her case I think she is being out danced by the other remaining girls.

I guess this means that Debbie Allen will be back as a guest judge soon.

As for this week -- if you didn't see that fantastic Mia Michael's contemporary number with Twitch and Katee you missed a great and original piece of dance using a free standing door as a prop. It was more fantastic stuff and another example of Mia's tortured brilliance. I was still surprised that Mark hung around (must be that underdog syndrome) but glad the Joshua and Twitch live to dance another week. I don't want to jinx things but Twitch and Katee have been great so I hope they make it to the end. This might be the second year in a row that one of the girls takes home the title, which is kind of ironic considering that Katee was so close to being canned in Vegas.

My newest (and getting to be one of my favorite new series) is the wacky spoof of reality shows on Comedy Central called Reality Bites Back. Each week, the team of comedians (including one of my favorites from last year's Last Comic Standing, Amy Schumer) spoof a reality show to hilarious results. So far they have done "Extreme Manipulation: Home Edition" and "Shock of Love" and in upcoming episodes, you'll be treated to "Almost-American Gladiators," "Hunting With the Stars," (too bad it's not Hunting the stars) "So You Think You Can Dive," (which is brilliant) "The Amazing Disgrace," (the best title out of all the spoofs) "The Biggest Chubby” (not what you might think it is..) and what spoof would not be complete if there wasn't a parody of Survivor and American Idol all rolled up together and mixed with a bit of Hell's Kitchen called "American Surv-idoler's Kitchen". Personally I think this has been long overdue and the comedians have been hilarious so far. Michael Ian Black is hilarious as the host -- and you can see how he relishes tearing a strip out of pop culture... and putting in all those awkward pauses.

Project Runway is not hitting it out of the park this season, and I don't know if it's just me, but I am finding the quantity of designers overwhelming at this point. Last week the challenge was interesting (even if the end result was not so) but this week's "Green" challenge left me cold as it was the models choosing the fabric.

Talk about the blond leading the blond -- these girls have no concept on fabric (what?) and I felt as panicked as the designers about having to work with some unknown fabric bought by some ditz.

I am not really following the Judges this year either, as I was not too impressed with Suede's winning design (yawn) and was much more impressed with Kenley and am really starting to warm up to her Vintage vibe. I nearly had kittens when my favorite from last week, Korto, was in danger of being eliminated. I wasn't following her design vibe this week and seriously thought her dress was inside out for part of the show. I think the comment about the model having fins on her ass (courtesy of Michael Kors) spoke volumes in it's self.
My dear Stella (Cheroin) did a nice cocktail dress that was totally her vibe -- and got some good feedback from the Judges. I think she is one of the most vocal of the gang (she knows how to bitch like a real pro) and I have visions of her and Tim butting heads. Let's see the Silver Fox talk his way out of this one.

I think things will get more interesting once more of the Designing herd has been culled (I am all for multiple eliminations at this point) but there is still something different about this season that I can't put my finger on yet.... is Bravo trying to sabotage things with the show leaving to the Lifetime network after this season? Stranger things have happened... it was a shame to see Wesley get aufed this week though, he was cute and a good designer (and Leanne was worse than he was) and I thought his fashion sensibility was cute and modern.

I am still a little miffed about Kathy Griffin and her recent appearance in Montréal (not to mention the snubbing of her gays) so the only comment that I have about this week's episode of My Life on the D List is that Bora Bora was boring and a yawn fest. I prefer my Kathy that rips a new one in the celebrities and is not all about some psycho idiot and a bunch of straight people on some fake gay holiday.
See what happens when you piss of your gays Kathy?
You know how vicious we can be -- snap - snap - snap.

Shear Genius has been putting me on an emotional roller coaster for the past couple of weeks. First there was the much lauded departure of that Dye Job Disaster, Meredith, but it was combined with my favorite, Charlie, wasting his immunity and doing a crappy job. This past week was all about doing a look with a wig (a very difficult challenge as if you make a mistake you can't do anything about it) and Charlie bombed once again. It was also the most emotionally manipulated episode with our models and their terrible Alopecia affliction. We had stylists crying left and right and it was all a bit too much and over the top. You would think that there were people dying but it must be a stylist's biggest fear: bald. That doesn't seem to really phase Charlie and at least he made it through (helmet head and all) but please Judges, Nekisa just has to go, you might have noticed that she is always in the bottom 2. I will be literally having kittens this Wednesday night when it will be the Charlie's Angels reunion episode. Jaclyn Smith is looking as fabulous as ever ..... now if we can only get Farrah Fawcett to join them it would be Sheer Perfection.