Summer Rant – High Performance

Since things are in “Summer mode” here at Couch Potato Central, the scheduling has gone to ranting about the tube once per week (hey it’s Canada here and you try to enjoy those few weeks of hot weather per year) and has led to the birth of the Summer Rant. It’s a catchy name that pays homage to the heat and crazy summer programming and more sporadic postings.

When we get around to the Top Ten on So you think you can Dance? I will probably be inspired to throw my rant amongst all the others on who should stay and who should go but I will say that I am very impressed with the quality of dance this time around, and although it will be a short lived title, this round’s favourite dancer will have paid their dues to make it to the end. I was really happy to see that Brandon was finally getting some love from Mia Michaels on the judging panel. I was not shocked with this week’s dismissal of Vitolio and Karla as they were the weakest of the herd, and I was thrilled that Kupuno is starting to get more of the love that he deserves. It’s a tight race for the guys as they are all pretty strong but there is something about Ade that makes me think he is a strong contender for the crown. Jason and Phillip need to step up their game, they are next on the block and might be dancing for their lives more often than they like. I think they all learned the lesson this week that you if you need to bring it then you better really bring it, dancing for your life is not a snappy title it’s the reality of the situation.

On the girl’s side, Cat was better dressed than the monstrosity she was wearing last week, and I am in absolute awe of the incredible lines that Melissa is pulling out, her Ballet piece was phenomenal and was another ground breaking performance for this show. I love how it is bring all sorts of styles of dance back to TV, and the quality of the new professionals that are getting involved in the show. The girls are all performing their hearts out and aside from a lacklustre solo, I really think that Caitlan and Janette are really going for it and have shown a ton of potential so far.The whole Dizzy Feet Foundation is a great idea (and I love how it highlights that incestuous relationship with Dancing with the Stars and includes that wacky Paula Abdul) and that upcoming guest appearance of Katie Holmes better deliver more than a brainwashed baby momma. Time will tell. Damn I love this show.

I have been having a blast watching The Superstars and seeing one of my favourite Dancers from Dancing with the Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, running around shirtless and doing damn well in a pretty tough athletic competition. There seem to be a ton of big egos with all those biceps and it’s fun to watch all the celebrities strut their stuff à la Battle of the Network Stars ( that series really, really needs to be redone properly) with a tad of American Gladiators thrown in and musical teams as participants keeping getting eliminated due to injury. They are all suffering these injustices at the scenic Paradise Island Resort in the Bahamas. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

WipeOut is even crueller than last year and we have been in hysterics watching (and rolling on the floor) with the scathing commentary by the 2 Johns. Hilarious. I love the new challenges and am kicking myself that I didn’t apply for the home grown version. Between this show and I survived a Japanese Game Show, there is a ton of ridiculous situations and hilarious costumes that always make me question the Japanese sense of humour and their need to humiliate the competitors in games that probably shouldn’t even be considered let alone attempted. Talk about extreme risks in some of these challenges, I am surprised that we haven’t seen someone take a nasty spill that they can’t get up from yet.

My Expedition Africa experience is not turning out how I really wanted, and the series is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t understand most of the drama on the show (and it seems like a waste of time),and for a gang of so called experienced explorers, they are starting to look more and more like knobs each episodes. I would love to know what their Porters are saying about them behind their backs and how ridiculous that they look most of the time. It’s a shame, I thought it would be more of a chance to see the country and it’s people and it is more about the drama – sigh…. I expected more…

On that note… The Fashion Show is wrapping up (there are some miracles…) and it has been a major snore fest. I can’t wrap my head around their real fashion for unreal people concept and the end results. It was time for our magical little Honduran elf to say adios, and I have the feeling that our geeky Asian guy is not far behind. I thing the psychic was the best part of the episode and if they decide to do a second season, skip to her right away and decide the winner before putting me through another season of Not-Beyonce and Isaac. I am looking forward to new Project Runway and some real drama and fashion!

On the comedy side of the coin .. the last few episodes of Better of Ted have been hilarious and I love the satire of working for a big company (Veridian Dynamics) and the way the characters deal with the questionable ethics and the überboss Veronica has had me in hysterics every episode. Her deadpan presentation is hysterical and I love the way she dismisses people, it is one of the funniest scripted things that I have seen recently. It’s a shame that Samantha Who? is burning off the remaining episodes as it is very funny and the characters well developed.I still hold out hope that it will be rescued but this year has been rough on losing well written shows.

This week will be a ton of fun with Torchwood – Children of Earth playing over 5 nights on BBC One (and will be shared online if the gods of the internet are feeling generous) and I am looking forward to getting back in touch with Captain Jack and gang. It’s a great week for Sci-Fi with  the beginning of Warehouse 13 and the return of EUReKA, one of my favourite shows. Vive l' été!

Weekend Rant – Summer Hits & Misses

Things have finished up for this past season’s shows and all in all it was a pretty blasé end of television season. If not for well written shows like Lost, Battlestar Galactica and Pushing Daisies (all almost finished or cancelled), things would have been much worse and I have some trepidation for the upcoming fall schedule. I could rant left and right about the problems with this past lukewarm season, but there is so much on right now that is rant worthy that it would be much more interesting to get to that.

Make me a Supermodel has completely fracked my mind with the last couple of episodes and the departure of 2 of the better contestants and then the unbelievable win by the guy with the least experience. Branden is no supermodel and I can’t believe that Jonathon did not win. I am calling this blatant patriotism as it was the only American contestant that won as Jonathon is from England and Sandhurst from Trinidad & Tobago. Bad bad reality show – and bad ending.

I have been following (albeit with a slightly guilty conscience), the reality train wreck that is I’m a Celebrity, get me out of here ! and am in total shock over the delusions of Spencer and Heidi (irk) who seem to think that they are better than the other reality losers on the show (what a joke), and the editing is worse than the choice of “Celebrities”. I know that I am concerned when Janice Dickinson seems to be the voice of reason and was in hysterics with her whole bronchitis thing that was going on. Yes Janice, nice to see that all those years of finishing school have paid off – I don’t know what was more funny, Janice freaking out after someone bitched at her (how ironic) or her lack of etiquette. Supermodel? irk again! Anyways the 2 dimwits have quit and/or left several times and now want to come back again – just shoot the 2 idiots and put them out of all of our misery please. Spencer & Heidi must die – they must be taken out of the gene pool before it’s too late.

The other big problem with the show is the use of animals and insects in their Fear Factor influenced challenges. It seems pretty damn stupid to have live rats that can bite you in a challenge, the health risks are incredible and it seems very unethical to have frogs or tarantulas that can be crushed or killed by contestants in their efforts to complete their challenge. I hope these things are protested and changed, the so called challenges don’t need to push the envelope quite as far as that.

So you think you can Dance? has blown back on the schedule and finished up the audition process with the final culling in Vegas. I still prefer the kinder and gentler audition vibe that was on the Canadian version (back this fall), but per usual there are some astounding dancers in the Top 20. My upfront favourites are Kupono Aweau and Jason Glover for the guys and Asuka Kondoh and Karla Garcia for the girls. I am looking forward to seeing them work with the choreographers, and really hoping that some of my favourites (like Wade) will be back this year. As hard as Mia is on the dancers, I can hardly wait to see what she churns out this year, with her current hard edge her dancers may be in for more than they can handle. Intense can be interesting.

I have been laughing my ass off at Wipeout, and can’t believe how hard the challenges are becoming for these poor contestants. The much harder (and thankfully very padded) obstacle course now has so many bumps and surprises in it (Plank in the face is too hilarious) and any one who makes it to the end is a winner in my book, it looks fun and exhausting. I will be checking out the home-grown version this fall as the version Québécois will hit the airwaves.

I am still catching up on a few series and waiting for a few more to come back for this summer – postings will probably be weekly depending on the free time, it’s summer after all and it’s time to be outside!

Weekend Rant – Endings & Beginnings

Things have been very busy this time of year and while the end of the regular television season is upon us I been catching up on a few things. I have been pretty disappointed this season with the meh endings to the majority of the shows. It used to be that end of seasons were for huge cliff-hangers or other hooks to get you on board for the next season, but it seems that a ton of shows have taken the easy route and done nothing more than a regular episode. That’s just plain lazy.

Although not mentioned earlier, the season finale to Lost was as mind blowing as expected and I will be on pins and needles until 2011 and the final season of this astounding show. The parallel stories of our time lost heroes trying to save the future and the enigmatic Locke look a like who is out to kill the very mysterious Jacob (who suddenly seems to have an influence in the lives of almost all of the survivors). There seems to be other eternal beings who are responsible for creating Richard and it’s hard to read who is on the side of angels… some of this story smells like Cain and Abel to me but the whole Egypt angle has me really intrigued. There is so much to this story that it blows my mind.

Survivor Tocantins finished up almost as expected, I did see JT winning but did not see that it would be between him and Stephen at the end. It was a great season full of some very memorable characters, but I was happy to see that the majority think that Coach is a complete knob and fraud and I am soooo happy his 15 minutes is up. The next season in Samoa looks great and I will be checking out Burnett’s next venture, Expedition Africa: Stanley and Livingstone. I would love to see Mark return to his roots and bring back some Eco-Challenge, one of the best competitions ever.

So you think you can dance? has started the selection of the Top 20 and the auditions were as interesting as usual. I still prefer the Canadian format that highlights more of the talent as opposed to the losers, and found the brother and sister team very disturbing in an incest kind of a way (just creepy) and I can’t believe that they had that retarded “Sex” idiot back again (seriously?) in a dance off with another delusional idiot. I would much rather see the talented dancers and see the best. At least next week it will be Vegas portion of the auditions and the first culling has been done. I hope to see them pushed hard and it will be great to see some of the choreographers come back. Nigel seems particularly snippy this season and Mary definitely has the cougar claws out.

The Fashion Show is boring me senseless and has none of the appeal of Project Runway. The change in format, the hosting of Not–Beyonce and Isaac is terrible and the editing sucks. There was so much crap on that catwalk last night that I was wondering why it wasn’t a multiple elimination. I don’t agree that our Underwear designer got bumped, there was stuff that was so fugly that got through that I don’t understand how the voters could not have chosen one of them instead. The show is just filler until the real Fashion comes back.

I finally caught up with Dollhouse and loved the first season. I was shocked to learn that our Doctor is actually an ex-active Whiskey (one of my favourites from Josh’s universe Amy) who was the hottest ticket until Alpha went postal on her. The storyline was well developed and the characters fascinating, so I hope Josh has a good plan for next year and some more interesting developments with the concept.

Make me a Supermodel surprised the hell out of me over the past 2 weeks with the elimination of Salome last week and then the dismissal of Mountaha this week has made it an all male finale that has Jonathon poised to win the big title. I wish he was back to his more natural looking blonde, but he is still bringing it big time each time and the best of the boys. I still can’t believe that the 2 strongest girls are gone, the Judges seem to want a male winner this year but I don’t think Branden has the goods and Sandhurst is too limited. Jonathon has been consistent pretty much every week and has the look.

WipeOut returned this week and was even more hilarious than last season. I think the level of cruelty has been oomphed up a notch this round, but the competition is so funny to watch and the commentary so scathing that I am literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off (ROTFLMAO for all you acronym people) watching these poor contestants get bashed and bruised senseless. I would love to get my shot at this show, but the new final zone looks even harder than before.

This week I am getting all hyped up by seeing the final episodes of Pushing Daisies (I am still so disappointed with ABC for not giving this one the chance it deserved) and the return of Burn Notice. Some of my favourite summer fare is around the corner and I can hardly wait until we get into some fun dance competition and see the return of Kathy Griffin and friends.

Weekend Rant – The beginning of the end

I am still playing catch up with several shows (most notably 24 and CSI) and have been in full blown End of Season mode all this week as a whole whack load of my shows on the Watch List are already wrapping things up as this season winds down. It’s already a Win Some / Lose Some situation as it’s a shame to see some shows go (already?) but it will also herald the beginning of the Summer season and the return of favourites such as So you think you can Dance? and WipeOut. There are a few new things of the horizon as well and Glee looks like my kind of show. All that will be checked out in the upcoming weeks. It’s a busy time of the year.

Desperate Housewives is following up on some of the storylines (the Jackson/Susan wedding is too stoopid for words) and developing others in an attempt to create some tension and get things all built up for the end of this season, but has left me the impression that there is much frantic grasping at straws and trying too hard. I think they are going in the right direction of trying to streamline things, but need to get back to the the core characters and the challenges of being desperate and a housewife. I hope the next death is Orson… his character has had it’s time.

Dancing with the Stars pissed me off so much the other week with the untimely dismissal of Lil’ Kim that I was holding my breath to see who would make it to the finale and didn’t want to make any predictions in case I was sending out the wrong vibes. I still can’t believe that Ty got to hang around for another round and one of the best dancers ever was sent home. I will never understand bone head moves like that, and one of the reasons I avoid voting shows like American/Canadian Idol where it turns into a popularity contest instead of being judged on talent and ability. All that being said and done… I know that I have whined about Melissa and her lack of celebrity, but I am pulling for her and Tony to win because I like them, and think that they have great chemistry together. Besides, as sexy as Gilles is, I am not too fond of Cheryl and would rather see someone else win. I don’t think Mark and Shawn have as much of a chance due to entertainment factor. Shawn is cute, she just doesn’t connect as well with the viewers.

Make me a Supermodel has been true to form and the real candidates for the title are becoming the front runners. I think it is interesting that Salome resembles last year’s winner (Holly) and has been winning the majority of the challenges. Jonathon was doing incredible but seemed to loose some of his glow this week (that makeover was not a good idea) and I was very pleased that the really bitchy girls are gone. Like last season, the boys last longer than the girls but it will be hard to say if one of them will win the big prize… I’d still love to see Jonathon win, even if there aren’t that many male supermodels.

Survivor - Tocantins has finally granted my wish and that knob Coach is finally voted out. I am pulling for Taj to surprise all and win the big prize, she has played a great game. I am wondering if JT will be able to fight off all the other players for the final Immunity, I have the feeling that if he doesn’t win it he will be voted off before the final Tribal Council. It’s been another good season and I feel sorry for the Jury being saddled with Coach, but better them than me.

Smallville disappointed with an impotent finale that just left a bad taste in my mouth. Jimmy dead? What? I sure as hell hope that Lois travelling through time will help remedy that situation… I was really disappointed with the small battle with Doomsday, the yucky Justice League that just posed and flexed and did nothing, and the whole Clark abandoning Chloe after her shitty storyline. I know the show is coming back next year, but they better make sure the Clark grows a pair and stops being such a knob. The guy is supposed to be an inspiration and a hero and not some schmuck. There was way too much build up for a story that never seemed to be all bark and no bite.

Supernatural had the potential for a hell of an ending and left me begging for more… as any good ending should and while it ended abruptly, I know that the show is already back for next season and can hardly wait to see how things turn out. The writing was phenomenal this season but I hope to get back more of the lighter side of the series and more of the dead pan humour. The guys are too multi faceted to waste on just angst, sacrifice and anger.

Reality Round Up - Things go better in Twos

I finally got my wish the other night and the baked one (Blayne) FINALLY got aufed ... it was an interesting and long awaited episode of Project Runway that had me worried that some of the flakes would be back (no such worries, Heidi dismissed that rumor right away); Suede got a good smack down from the Judges ( you have to love that Michael Kors) and Terri learned a hard life lesson about team dynamics.

Although it wasn't that surprising as far as episodes go, any kind of Avant-garde Challenge is almost always interesting to see for the over the top designs. It was interesting to see all of the other designers come back and how they were to use the Zodiac sign of one of the designers as inspiration. It was a treat to see Stella and then I felt damn sorry for her being paired up with Blayne as it was quite the challenge for those two to work together. I think if anyone has different design aesthetics it had to be those two and I don't honestly think that Stella was that impressed with being paired up with the twit. Some of the teams did okay, a couple of them were down right terrible and Terri was just too much of a bitch with Keith. Keith was being quite the douche him self and being all fragile. sigh... there has to be at least one cry baby per year. The team dynamics were all over the place, depending on the prevailing mood of some of the designers. It seems to be more about the drama than the design this season and that should only be part of it.

I know that Kenley was getting on several designer's nerves in the challenge, but I thought she did a great job and was really one of the ones that stood out. I thought it was très Minnie Mouse and it was just missing the ears. Jerrel was great but I didn't think he was that outstanding but he ended being the winner (the Judges are damn hard to read sometimes), Leanne was very interesting (again) and is turning in to a real competitor. I think she is surprising everyone. I was concerned by some of the choices that didn't seem to be really over the top enough to be considered Avant-garde by some of the designers and that meant Korto was disappointing and so was Joe. I honestly don't think that some of the designers understand what the hell Avant-garde means.

I've being ranting for weeks that they need to cull the herd a bit quicker, and we finally got around to Blayne, Terri and Suede being the bottom 3 and we know that 2 are to be eliminated. I honestly did not expect Terri to be given the boot (her ensemble wasn' t that terrible, I think she really pissed of the Judges with her treatment of Keith) and Suede lived to sew for another day. I wonder if he will continue speaking of himself in such the 3rd tense and with such vigor after getting eviscerated by the Judges this week... only time will tell but I think that he is on his last legs.

Top Design continued it's new and improved format with a makeover of a Bunker, those Fallout Shelters that have been around since the 1950's. All of the designers were paired up and had to work their magic on a 12 by 14 foot concrete box that had to be shared by the 2 of them. I loved the little video they played at the beginning showing the old TV ads for Bunkers and wonder if they are making a comeback. It feels almost slight exploitative having this kind of challenge right around September 11th .. but I may be reading more into the challenge than was intended.

It was a very interesting challenge, and it was fascinating to see the different dynamics amongst the teams. The set up is pretty basic in these shelters, and while I don't see amenities like sinks and bathrooms or kitchen areas (how the hell are you supposed to last for months or years in one of these Bunkers is beyond me), it's a great way of testing the designer's talent. Wisit & Nathan are paired up and you know that those 2 are going to get into too much trouble. They are having too much fun which was even more hilarious as you saw other teams in complete meltdown mode. Robert & Jennifer can't seem to find common ground and I dislike Robert more than last week. Kerry is teamed up with Shazia and I am just waiting for a disaster to happen. Natalie & Teresa do a lovely Zen inspired den that need just a bit of editing but was great for the space, and I liked the ceiling effect done by Preston & Odine, although the Judges didn't appreciate their space as much. Wisit & Nathan were the only team to go down to one bed (too funny -- they were very gay about all of it and had the Judges eating out of their hands) and showed some nice creativity.

Our winning team of Eddie (little Mr.Martha Stewart) & Andrea (don't call me Mrs.Shroder) did a nice job (I do have to see that it was pretty obvious that Eddie was the brains behind it all and Mrs.Shroder was hanging on for the ride). I liked the creativity of most of the teams and how they tried to work the space in different ways to create their own spaces. I will say that I was surprised when India eliminated Jennifer (We can't live with your design) and then turned around and eliminated her not supportive partner Robert.

Wow - second episode and a double elimination. You hear that Project Runway? It's better to cull earlier than later... just making a point.

Robert didn't see that one coming and I think that it is just great .. the guy was a complete knob about the whole challenge and that's 2 weeks in a row of being nasty. Good bye and no regrets.

Wipeout has almost finished it's first season, and we were in absolute hysterics this week watching the double episode treat that we got to see this week. Hole in the Wall was checked out, but it's just not as much fun or even half as interesting hearing the guys do their play by play on Wipeout. I have to say that they even did better than Hole in the Wall with their Cookie Cutter part of the Sweeper. The 2 Johns (Henson & Anderson) with supporting co host Jill Wagner make the show as funny as it is by their snarky comments and bad humor. It's a joy to watch and I am happy to know that it will be coming back for a second season. Can we get a Canadian version of this? I would love to play.

Wipeout! The newest summer addiction

Last night heralded the debut of the most fun I have seen in ages.... ladies and gentleman, if you missed the premiere of Wipeout, check it out on the ABC site ( I was trying to add something to the page and it kept crashing) to see all the hilarity. I have not laughed this hard in ages and hope that we get a whole whack of episodes.
I was thrilled to see (and hear) that John Henson is one of the hosts on duty as he was throwing out the wickedest comments about the participants last night. He slayed me with his comment that one of the girls had the build of a garden gnome and the mouth of a trucker.. the guy is too much and I have very fond memories of him hosting Talk Soup all those years ago. I hope Joel over at the Soup gives you guys a shout out this week.
Things followed up nicely with " I Survived a Japanese Game Show " which was a good follow up.. and very weird show. Damn things are weird in Japan, but you have to love Mama-san and the Bug Splatter on the Windshield elimination round. What next?? I can hardly wait to find out!