Summer Rant – High Performance

Since things are in “Summer mode” here at Couch Potato Central, the scheduling has gone to ranting about the tube once per week (hey it’s Canada here and you try to enjoy those few weeks of hot weather per year) and has led to the birth of the Summer Rant. It’s a catchy name that pays homage to the heat and crazy summer programming and more sporadic postings.

When we get around to the Top Ten on So you think you can Dance? I will probably be inspired to throw my rant amongst all the others on who should stay and who should go but I will say that I am very impressed with the quality of dance this time around, and although it will be a short lived title, this round’s favourite dancer will have paid their dues to make it to the end. I was really happy to see that Brandon was finally getting some love from Mia Michaels on the judging panel. I was not shocked with this week’s dismissal of Vitolio and Karla as they were the weakest of the herd, and I was thrilled that Kupuno is starting to get more of the love that he deserves. It’s a tight race for the guys as they are all pretty strong but there is something about Ade that makes me think he is a strong contender for the crown. Jason and Phillip need to step up their game, they are next on the block and might be dancing for their lives more often than they like. I think they all learned the lesson this week that you if you need to bring it then you better really bring it, dancing for your life is not a snappy title it’s the reality of the situation.

On the girl’s side, Cat was better dressed than the monstrosity she was wearing last week, and I am in absolute awe of the incredible lines that Melissa is pulling out, her Ballet piece was phenomenal and was another ground breaking performance for this show. I love how it is bring all sorts of styles of dance back to TV, and the quality of the new professionals that are getting involved in the show. The girls are all performing their hearts out and aside from a lacklustre solo, I really think that Caitlan and Janette are really going for it and have shown a ton of potential so far.The whole Dizzy Feet Foundation is a great idea (and I love how it highlights that incestuous relationship with Dancing with the Stars and includes that wacky Paula Abdul) and that upcoming guest appearance of Katie Holmes better deliver more than a brainwashed baby momma. Time will tell. Damn I love this show.

I have been having a blast watching The Superstars and seeing one of my favourite Dancers from Dancing with the Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, running around shirtless and doing damn well in a pretty tough athletic competition. There seem to be a ton of big egos with all those biceps and it’s fun to watch all the celebrities strut their stuff à la Battle of the Network Stars ( that series really, really needs to be redone properly) with a tad of American Gladiators thrown in and musical teams as participants keeping getting eliminated due to injury. They are all suffering these injustices at the scenic Paradise Island Resort in the Bahamas. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

WipeOut is even crueller than last year and we have been in hysterics watching (and rolling on the floor) with the scathing commentary by the 2 Johns. Hilarious. I love the new challenges and am kicking myself that I didn’t apply for the home grown version. Between this show and I survived a Japanese Game Show, there is a ton of ridiculous situations and hilarious costumes that always make me question the Japanese sense of humour and their need to humiliate the competitors in games that probably shouldn’t even be considered let alone attempted. Talk about extreme risks in some of these challenges, I am surprised that we haven’t seen someone take a nasty spill that they can’t get up from yet.

My Expedition Africa experience is not turning out how I really wanted, and the series is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t understand most of the drama on the show (and it seems like a waste of time),and for a gang of so called experienced explorers, they are starting to look more and more like knobs each episodes. I would love to know what their Porters are saying about them behind their backs and how ridiculous that they look most of the time. It’s a shame, I thought it would be more of a chance to see the country and it’s people and it is more about the drama – sigh…. I expected more…

On that note… The Fashion Show is wrapping up (there are some miracles…) and it has been a major snore fest. I can’t wrap my head around their real fashion for unreal people concept and the end results. It was time for our magical little Honduran elf to say adios, and I have the feeling that our geeky Asian guy is not far behind. I thing the psychic was the best part of the episode and if they decide to do a second season, skip to her right away and decide the winner before putting me through another season of Not-Beyonce and Isaac. I am looking forward to new Project Runway and some real drama and fashion!

On the comedy side of the coin .. the last few episodes of Better of Ted have been hilarious and I love the satire of working for a big company (Veridian Dynamics) and the way the characters deal with the questionable ethics and the überboss Veronica has had me in hysterics every episode. Her deadpan presentation is hysterical and I love the way she dismisses people, it is one of the funniest scripted things that I have seen recently. It’s a shame that Samantha Who? is burning off the remaining episodes as it is very funny and the characters well developed.I still hold out hope that it will be rescued but this year has been rough on losing well written shows.

This week will be a ton of fun with Torchwood – Children of Earth playing over 5 nights on BBC One (and will be shared online if the gods of the internet are feeling generous) and I am looking forward to getting back in touch with Captain Jack and gang. It’s a great week for Sci-Fi with  the beginning of Warehouse 13 and the return of EUReKA, one of my favourite shows. Vive l' été!

Weekend Rant – Get ME out of here!

I have been laughing my ass off watching the insane antics on I’m a Celebrity, get me out of here! and all of the stupid and ridiculous challenges that seem to put more flora and fauna in danger than the so called celebrities. The Snake strike challenge was too much and was it any surprise that the snakes were trying to escape? The whole mud pit challenge was just as whack with the crocodiles that seemed to be everywhere at the beginning and then conveniently gone after. After all of that I was almost crying when poor Janice got ousted at the end of last week. I was really hoping to see her hang around and get tortured a tad more before losing. If I am rooting for anyone, it will be our sexually ambiguous singer Sanjaya to win the cash for his charity, but does he seriously think that he is straight? – even Janice can read the writing on the wall with that one but he is so much in denial and it is all just as clueless as his singing. I still don’t understand why the other Baldwin is still there but it is such a car wreck of a show that I can’t help myself… I just love bad TV. I can hardly wait until it ends, it’s sucking up too much of my valuable time!

Speaking of which – I am starting to get peeved that I can’t find some of my favourite shows online and can no longer see this season of Tori & Dean- Home Sweet Hollywood – it really sucks as the files are usually available on line and I may have to wait for the show to come out on DVD to catch up – I never understand why some shows are harder to find to download when you think that the producers want people to see the show – too bad for them and it looks like I am losing something off the Watch List.

So you think you can Dance ? is really burning up the screen this round (and I can’t believe that they will start the next round right after this one – it doesn’t give much time for this winner to be America’s favourite dancer, but the competition is so stunning that I can hardly wait for more. My biggest concern was on the performance night and I saw that it looked like Cat’s old stylist had done another bad choice with that hideous red dress that she was wearing. Thankfully it was not around for the Results night, but if she starts wearing all those hideous gowns again she will need some serious fashion therapy. After last week’s poor showing, I was in literal awe over the beauty and flow (and not to mention the emotion) of the beautiful Waltz that was performed by Asuka and Vitolio. I am still surprised by the curious and strangely almost incestuous relationship between SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars (and that terrible Superstars of Dance show) that are all produced by Nigel and Co. It’s just weird and wonderful to see dancers leave one show for another and to see choreographers like Louis Van Amstel come over to this show. I do have to agree that this show has probably done more for dance than others and it really is turning into an incredible showcase of world dance.

The Judges have some very tough decisions, and this week I disagree again with their choice of guy that was eliminated, I thought that Max did an incredible job with the Brian Friedman choreography (just amazing) but because he was a “different” character (meaning he seemed kind of gay) was the reason that he got bumped. Jason should have been hitting the road after that terrible Shane Spark’s number (I was not a big fan of Shane this week and thought he was the weakest choreographer) and Phillip was closer to elimination with his troubles with the Tango. A few of the guys really stepped it up and I was stunned by the speed of the disco number and Brandon – wow – I assumed the guy was a gym bunny and it seems all those muscles are hard earned dancing.I was happy that Kupuno was not eliminated this week (he had a close call though) as he has a certain style and flair all his own, and I love how he can adapt to different styles. He was a tad lazy in his solo and that was problematic. I was pretty sure that Ashley was toast after a lacklustre solo (it was not even close to dancing for her life) and was not surprised that she was booted. The competition is great this year and it has already been astounding to watch. I was raving over the Mia Michael’s number that opened the results show and can hardly wait to see her take on one of the couples, and it was so cute to see home land girl Stacey Tookey hitting the US show after being such a success on SYTYCD Canada.

I was thrilled with the return of I survived a Japanese Game Show this week after the latest instalment of Wipeout. I am still fascinated with the Japanese culture and their weird shows, and Majide is still as wild and fun as ever. It’s really hard to take some one seriously when they are dressed in some of the ridiculous costumes (the rabbits were hilarious) but I love all the creatively humiliating costumes and wacky wacky games. Those Japanese people are damn strange sometimes… they really like to humble the Americans and I know that they love seeing the big guy Bobaloo in tights and running around as much as it probably frightened me. I will be watching with much gusto how things work out and to see Mama-San and Judge Bob deal with these poor contestants. It is a bit more interesting that the winners get some really fun prizes and that the losers will have to do same damn disgusting ones, so it should hopefully eliminate some of the worst players to start with. Luckily it was the prima donna Kimberly that got eliminated this week and Sayonara, back to America for her. It will be fun to see how badly the other players want to win. Hard to say who can win, but Drew is the big kind of athletic guy that might be able to do it, but you never know… hai majide!

Burn Notice has been so much fun to watch this season, and it feels better than the awkward chemistry of last year. Michael seems to be getting more at ease with his friends helping out, there seems to be better sparks with Fiona (and those 2 are so great together) and it feels like the first season again. I love Michael’s deadpan explanations on how he can MacGyver things together and all the different insights into being a spy, and how he can observe and piece things together and make it work for him. The stories have been building up some great tension with the new thorn in Michael’s side, dear Detective Paxson, who seems to think that it is her mission to know all about our ex Spy.The show has this sexy feeling to it that goes perfectly with Miami and is just the perfect fare for the hot season.

I am still playing catch up with a few things and enjoying the relaxed summer schedule, and looking forward to seeing some of the last episodes of Samantha Who? (I think it was stupid to cancel the show, it was well written) and more of Better off Ted, one of the funniest things that I have seen in quite awhile. I have been finding the Expedition Africa show interesting as I am fascinated with the land and culture, but am starting to find the cast of characters a tad stunned. They all seem way out of their element for so called professionals that have done this a million times before, but they all seem so poorly prepared for things like wild animals and the search for water. I am not sure if it is the editing that drags down the episodes, but there is weird chemistry between the cast of characters and the flow is just strange. Good premise and poor execution, it kind of reminds me of Pirate Master from last season.This week will also premiere Triple Sensation on CBC and the premise looks interesting for a reality show as it is anchored in the performing arts and is the search for the next and best Broadway type performer who can sing, act and dance. The first episode will decide if I chose to follow this journey as well. Here’s hoping the show is interesting and it showcases some more of the fabulous talent here in Canada!

Weekend Rant - The Week in Review

It's still damn busy with the viewing schedule (for all my complaining last year dealing with the strike I really can't complain this year about having nothing to watch) and slowly but surely I have been catching up with my favorite shows. We just went through Election season here in Canada and that helped make it an even busier than usual week.

The bad news is that there hasn't been that many new shows added to the Watch List. So far Fringe and Knight Rider have fallen to the wayside (honestly, it was another case of tried it and didn't like it) and there are still a couple of shows that feel on the bubble (Sanctuary is borderline at this point and I can hardly wait until Stargate Atlantis ends and I am even running behind on the episodes right now, I will catch up when we hit some repeats later this fall). I was glad that this season of Project Runway finally wrapped things up (congrats to Leanne -- at least Kenley didn't win) but even the 2 part finale sucked. I still can't believe that JLo dropped out at the last minute as guest Judge of the Finale due to a foot injury ( I heard that she ran a marathon after the episode) and it was probably another case of rats deserting a sinking ship. The rumor mill is non stop about the legal problems with the show moving to the Lifetime Network and who knows when or if we will see another season. Time will tell, things don't seem to be advancing that quickly on this side of the border either and no launch date mentioned for the Canadian version either.

The good news is that I am completely addicted to a couple of new series such as True Blood and I am ecstatic that it has already been picked up for another season. This is a vampire series that I can sink my teeth into, and Jason Stackhouse played by Ryab Kwanten is the sexiest redneck living in the Bayou that I have ever seen. Seriously. Not only is this is the best vampire series on TV since Angel and Buffy, it is definitively the most adult. I know you Moonlight fans are still lamenting the demise of the series, but I really suggest checking this series out if you like a dark and sexy show. If anything, I find some interesting similarities between the Vampire Universe that Sookie and her friends live in and that of the the Vampire Universe created by Anne Rice.Louisiana seems to be a very hospitable environment for these beasts and there is something sensual and sexy about things being hot and steamy all the time. It certainly brings out the sexual vibe from the characters and linking sex and blood seems to be a natural fit with the nature of things. It certainly hits a nerve as well as the similitude's between being a minority (vampire) is on the same level as being gay in today's society, and having to deal with being out but not accepted by the mainstream population. It's an interesting reflection on society.

and damn sexy watching.

On a polar opposite and bordering the realm of the ridiculous is the addictive Paris Hilton's My New BFF. I can not stop myself from watching this train wreck of a "reality" show and it was hysterical so see boy-girl Onch have a complete meltdown during the "Always look Hot Challenge" as the contestants had to look good while being on roller coasters. I have never been in such a state of complete awe and shock after seeing someone have a meltdown like that and being so over the top. Onch is such an over the top drama Queen that I was just laughing my ass off as s(he) was sticking his head in sideways to puke into the garbage can while carefully holding his cigarette off to the side. Later we had the big on knees and begging to be released from this challenge moment that was so pathetic that it was priceless. In other circumstances I would tell Onch to grow a pair.. but I think he already wants to hide the ones he has so no pressure there.

All drama aside, I love the girly-boy and think he would make a fabulous addition to Paris' Posse. Everyone needs a fabulous bitchy-girly boy as a pet and it would certainly keep some of her fans occupied. Besides, the girls are pretty fake for the most part, but I imagine that Paris wants someone as scripted and fake as her for company with no real personality that could be a challenge or take any attention away from her so it may go to the fakest of them all. God help the virgin if it's her.

It's all very entertaining and a highlight of the week.

My other favorite moments of the week were the return of Samantha Who?, still as funny as ever with our amnesiac good/bad girl. Jean Smart is so fricking hilarious as Sam's mother that she is a huge scene stealer and I love the chemistry between all of them.

Pushing Daisies is the greatest and most wonderful adult fairy tale that I have ever seen. This past episode with the Nuns and the truffles was too hilarious. Pigby is a great addition to the crew and I can hardly wait to see what happens this week with Olive going back home. It's nice to see some closure but the bomb that will be dropped on Chuck will be huge... just wait until she finds out that Lily is her mother! I can't believe the MADtv alumni that guest starred as the Truffle expert Sister Larue (Mo Collins, one of my long time faves) and the very funny Father at the Nunnery (Michael Hitchcock who had played Simeon on The Lillian Verner Game Show). Both of them were hilarious and it's a shame that we don't see more of them on TV.

Smallville has been keeping me very happy with all the gratuitous Green Arrow shirtless scenes, some decent stories and a ton of Lois and Clark. Erica is starting to become my favorite Lois out of all the series and I wonder if they can get her to do the jump to the big screen, she really has the character down and does a great interpretation. I am still unhappy that Chloe has ditched the reporter angle (too close to Lois I think) and it's getting interesting with her going into Oracle mode and helping to coordinate things (channeling the former Batgirl from Birds of Prey), but her intelligence is going to hit the fan when they do the return of Brainiac. The viewing is better and I hope that they continue in the adventure vein that they have started.

Supernatural has been great this season and this week's black and white adventure was fantastic as a "gimmick" episode. I loved all the old style credits and themes, and it was too funny with Dracula, the Wolf Man and then the Mummy. I called the mummy before it happened, and was hoping for either a Frankenstein or Creature from the Black Lagoon but they were only mentioned. I love how they did their own homage to the old classic monster thrillers. The boys were as hot as usual (black and white can be very flattering) and I loved Dean's idea that he was now a virgin again due to his rebirth. Oh those naughty boys. Still it was a great, light episode and felt like old times, just like it was supposed to.

The last and best thing of the whole week was the continuing competition on So you think you can dance Canada. The level of competition is incredible and most of the couples are dancing way harder than I have seen in the American version. Nico & Arassay are the most amazing couple so far and their Dark Angel dance was phenomenal.

I didn't agree with who was voted into the bottom group, I could see why the judges chose Dario and Romina to leave. I didn't understand why either Joey nor Izaak were in the bottom group as they clearly didn't seem comfortable dancing with their partners. Maybe the boys should dance together instead... it seems more up their alley.

I think the most frustrating thing is the Results Show, CTV has only given them 30 minutes and so all you hear is " we don't have much time so I'll get right to it" as the dancers are let go. It might be nice to have a tad more time to do their walk of shame before exiting the stage.

Weekend Rant -- End Games

Our wacky season (seriously-- a strike year is not a good thing) is wrapping up... and even with the abbreviated seasons and feast or famine situations, there was some decent story telling this year. Maybe this year was one to force the actors and writers to do their best possible in trying times, but I still feel cheated in many ways and really hope that we don't have another one of these situations again for quite awhile. Amen to that.

Dancing with Stars broke my heart this week with the elimination of Marissa, but I can hardly wait to see the Finale this week and watch Kristi win the trophy. This has been one of the best seasons ever.

Samantha Who? ended the first season well, and I am glad it has been picked up for next year, the chemistry between the characters gets better and better each week and I love the flashbacks to "bad Sam" and the continual struggle to do the right thing.

Medium was different this year, but had tons of interesting elements and after all is said and done things seem to be more back to the status quo of season's past. Maybe it was an experimental season, but I enjoyed it and happy that it will be back again next year.

American Gladiators hit the screen again this week, and not only do I love the new games (Rocket Ball rules!) and the new Gladiators (long and lean is so sexy...) but I am concerned about having a pregnant Layla Ali so close to the action. This show is too much fun.

Farmer wants a Wife continues to be the Guilty Pleasure of the moment, and besides the trashy psychotic girls (yeah-- we found your address on one of the magazines and we are stalking you), it has had some really bad innuendo thrown in. "Sorry to have hit you with my big wood" says Farmer before letting one of the city girls go. The fighting between the girls is getting all out of hand (those slutty church girls) and it is just plain insanity.If Matt wasn't kind of cute and some of the girls weren't kind of okay this would be like watching some really BAD VH1 dating show....

Smallville ended this season with lots of stuff blowing up (as usual) and more angst than should be allowed on any TV show. It was all pretty dull and predictable, and my hope is that Lana is gone for good, Clark finally gets it on with Lois and that they find a decent villain to replace Lex. I am not sure how the show can make it with out Michael (Lex).... he simply made that character into one of the best versions ever. I think it's fine time that they give Clark a spine and get him to start being the hero that he is destined to be.. besides if they are in the final season then go for broke. Thank god Chloe is back next season.

Supernatural did a season finale as it should be done -- great story, fantastic cliffhanger ending and the visuals were astounding. I wonder if we could get these writers to take over for Smallville for it's final season and give Clark some balls? The brothers were spot on (as usual), Lilith is the scariest kid ever on TV (yikes!) and I loved seeing the struggle to try to save Dean. Here's hoping some one gets out Hell real quick-- it doesn't look like fun at all.

There is still more to come over the next 2 weeks -- and then all the new summer stuff that is on it's way.... including my favorite " So you think you can Dance?" and more of the insanely funny Kathy Griffin. For every ending there is a new beginning... or some kind of crap like that.

That Wacky Schedule - Dealing with the 2007 - 2008 Season

The whole viewing schedule is going back and forth with shows stopping, pausing, starting or continuing their seasons now that the strike is over.

It's been hard to keep track of all the shows, and thankfully I found the Futon Critic who gives me all dirt on when and where some of my favorites are coming back.

Dancing with the Stars, Big Bang Theory, and Smallville are returning later this month and then I can hardly wait for April when shows like Desperate Housewives, Bones, Supernatural and Samantha Who? are back on the air. Curiously a few shows are missing and it's not really a surprise that Bionic Woman is in limbo, I don't think that they are planning on bringing it back with all the bad press and reviews, and it's not like it didn't deserve it.

This season may be strange and short but there have been some good stories coming out and some great new shows. It's too bad stuff like Pushing Daisies and Heroes has been held for next season, but I'll take what I can get.

Samantha Who?

Just in case you missed it, the first episode of Samantha Who? rocked my world and I laughed my ass off at her brilliant family (Jean Smart as the Mom trying to get an Extreme Make over from her daughter's coma was hilarious), the edgy best friend, the childhood friend and all of the rest of the insanity. There hasn't been much new this season that actually has punch and it was a great opener-- Here's hoping Christina and friends can keep it going!