Weekend Rant – Summer Hits & Misses

Things have finished up for this past season’s shows and all in all it was a pretty blasé end of television season. If not for well written shows like Lost, Battlestar Galactica and Pushing Daisies (all almost finished or cancelled), things would have been much worse and I have some trepidation for the upcoming fall schedule. I could rant left and right about the problems with this past lukewarm season, but there is so much on right now that is rant worthy that it would be much more interesting to get to that.

Make me a Supermodel has completely fracked my mind with the last couple of episodes and the departure of 2 of the better contestants and then the unbelievable win by the guy with the least experience. Branden is no supermodel and I can’t believe that Jonathon did not win. I am calling this blatant patriotism as it was the only American contestant that won as Jonathon is from England and Sandhurst from Trinidad & Tobago. Bad bad reality show – and bad ending.

I have been following (albeit with a slightly guilty conscience), the reality train wreck that is I’m a Celebrity, get me out of here ! and am in total shock over the delusions of Spencer and Heidi (irk) who seem to think that they are better than the other reality losers on the show (what a joke), and the editing is worse than the choice of “Celebrities”. I know that I am concerned when Janice Dickinson seems to be the voice of reason and was in hysterics with her whole bronchitis thing that was going on. Yes Janice, nice to see that all those years of finishing school have paid off – I don’t know what was more funny, Janice freaking out after someone bitched at her (how ironic) or her lack of etiquette. Supermodel? irk again! Anyways the 2 dimwits have quit and/or left several times and now want to come back again – just shoot the 2 idiots and put them out of all of our misery please. Spencer & Heidi must die – they must be taken out of the gene pool before it’s too late.

The other big problem with the show is the use of animals and insects in their Fear Factor influenced challenges. It seems pretty damn stupid to have live rats that can bite you in a challenge, the health risks are incredible and it seems very unethical to have frogs or tarantulas that can be crushed or killed by contestants in their efforts to complete their challenge. I hope these things are protested and changed, the so called challenges don’t need to push the envelope quite as far as that.

So you think you can Dance? has blown back on the schedule and finished up the audition process with the final culling in Vegas. I still prefer the kinder and gentler audition vibe that was on the Canadian version (back this fall), but per usual there are some astounding dancers in the Top 20. My upfront favourites are Kupono Aweau and Jason Glover for the guys and Asuka Kondoh and Karla Garcia for the girls. I am looking forward to seeing them work with the choreographers, and really hoping that some of my favourites (like Wade) will be back this year. As hard as Mia is on the dancers, I can hardly wait to see what she churns out this year, with her current hard edge her dancers may be in for more than they can handle. Intense can be interesting.

I have been laughing my ass off at Wipeout, and can’t believe how hard the challenges are becoming for these poor contestants. The much harder (and thankfully very padded) obstacle course now has so many bumps and surprises in it (Plank in the face is too hilarious) and any one who makes it to the end is a winner in my book, it looks fun and exhausting. I will be checking out the home-grown version this fall as the version Québécois will hit the airwaves.

I am still catching up on a few series and waiting for a few more to come back for this summer – postings will probably be weekly depending on the free time, it’s summer after all and it’s time to be outside!

Weekend Rant -- Playing Catch Up

Top Design finished up season 2 ... and while I am glad that Nathan won (and he really did, he was the most creative and interesting designer), I was still surprised by how many people thought that Preston should have won. The online voting showed him with a clear majority and I think the voting public was more taken with his pretty boy looks and muscles than his content. Preston was big and pretty and not that much more than that.

I even liked Ondine more than his stuff -- her style is more inviting and warm. Of course it all comes down to personal likes and dislikes and she hit all the right notes. I thought it was interesting that our remaining three got paired up with some of the previous designers and Mr Martha Stewart was very funny with his attitude towards working with Preston. Yes Eddie, very professional to leave the phone off to the side and ignore Preston. Too funny. Still.. when it came time to chose our winner our Judges looked at the big picture and chose Nathan for his creativity and ability to put his personal touch in to things. Great work.

I think I will miss the very mannish India Hicks and her over the top accent from each episode and we'll see if there is a season 3. If they do.. make sure your wacky judges are there every week please... things are always so much more interesting when Kelly Werstler is there.

I finally caught up with the insanity of this season's Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency (slash House) and I was pretty upset with how things rolled around this season. Janice's spying wasn't done to our advantage, there wasn't enough real work happening and the drama drama drama with the models could only be topped by Janice.

It must be part of the in grained personality of a supermodel (take Tyra Banks as another example) that everything has to be the end of the universe and I could not believe the disdain and disgust that Janice has for (the horror of .... dum dum dum) Plus Size Models.

Give me a fracking break. Yes Janice, we know that you are all high fashion (and have the mouth of a trucker to back that one back up) and are probably responsible for more girls having an eating disorder than you can count, but her reaction to Nathan's idea and her treatment of the Models was disgusting. There are ways of getting your opinion across with out looking like a complete asshole and Janice had no idea on how to do that. The only thing that I can really say is that if I thought Janice had any redeeming qualities at all that is no longer the case.

Anyways.... to make a long story short (and the reason I skipped the show for a few weeks and watched the final four episodes in one shot the other day), everything changes again. Yup, end of season with Janice is always a big change, like end of season with Tori and Dean is always about another house and/or probably a new house. Janice has decided to go High Fashion (her dream for the Agency, impossible to do in LA as they are not high fashion enough for our supermodelista) and is off to New York with Crystal in tow and maybe a few other models. JP is now a manager and will be helping out with things. Most of the interesting models were ignored this season and I am waiting for the spin off with JP and the LA division. Of course watching Janice have a meltdown and take NYC with her will be another thing all together and I will more than likely not able to resist sneaking a peek.

Stylista is boring me to pieces and I think that Nice Blonde Girl, who got eliminated this week, should really look a some fulfilling career that will not suck the life out of you. She was too nice for the competition and if that is a downfall, then I don't see her having many problems in life.

Other than that... the one with the huge rack is still not playing well with others and some how I feel may be the dark horse to win the competition. She is winning a few points with Anne Slowey and may get some kind of an advantage by being noticed. Our Rich Spoiled Girl has it out for the Diva and that may take both of them out of the equation. The challenge of having to do the Birthday party for Anne's devil child niece was an fun twist, but the behaviour of the contestants stilll makes me question where this show is trying to go.

Smallville hit one out of the park this week with Bloodlines, and we got to see the rescue and return of Kara, Lois in the Phantom Zone and then being possessed by Faora (wife of Zod) let Erica stretch her acting chops more and she did a great job. I honestly hope the people upstairs (hello DC and Warner Bros) take notice and think about her for the next film... she makes a dynamite Lois and has pretty good range of character.

I loved the story development, more information about our mysterious and hunky Paramedic and his miraculous recoveries and invulnerabilities, more about Chloe-Brainiac and her tapping more and more into that big computer in her head, more fun and games with Green Arrow and his interest in Tessmacher and just more overall adventure and fun and games. I am getting an itching to see Clark going more heroic and hoping to see more guest stars soon. The various story lines are getting very interesting and sooner or later it has to hit the fan with Brainiac. I am beginning to think that they are running out of excuses to keep up the old mantra of " no flights, no tights" for this series when all the signs are pointing that way. It was fitting that Clark and Kara were dressed similar at the end (with their natural penchant for primary colours) and that Kara is off to search for Kandor. If things follow the comic books at all, Kandor was shrunken and put in a bottle by Brainiac, so it may be a way to get Kara back as a guest star again.

My highlight of the week was the return of Bones after some time off during baseball season. It's harder to keep up with series that keep bumping on and off the schedule and it's a tad frustrating at times. I don' t usually have any problems getting back on board with the gang on Bones, and this week's episode The Skull in the Sculpture, was like old times with a fascinating mystery, more intern issues, Angelica's interesting past, and the return of my favorite, Prosecutor Caroline Julian. As usual, it was a fascinating story and I am really enjoying the beat of the season. Less interruptions in the viewing schedule would be appreciated Fox.

The characters are fascinating and we are getting some interesting development with the gang at the Jeffersonian and I still say that there is some kind of connection between Gormogon and Sweets... and with Daisy (irritating intern who had to go) in the picture as some kind of love interest to Sweets I think we may have a new apprentice and some danger later this season. There is something about the storyline that is not finished yet and there is more to come.

My biggest shock of the week was the departure of Marcus on Survivor Gabon. Poor Marcus, he threw away the chance to have immunity at the beginning of the episode and then thought he was invincible with his majority of tribe mates. It seems like most of the best players get blindsided in this game and I am going to hate to see poor Charlie's face when he sees that Marcus is gone. The game is getting vicious and if and when the merge happens it will be interesting to see how it plays out. Mixing the teams up once again was a nice move and unexpected, and it's not playing out as any of them predicated. Crystal is turning into the biggest pain in the ass at the moment and I am amazed at how much of a wimp she is at the competitions. At the rate we are going I think that Sugar may take it all, she seems to be playing the smartest out of the gang. I have to give a big shout out to Bob, who impressed the hell out of me at the Immunity Challenge with his balancing act. The guy was an amazing example of mind over matter.

Reality Round Up - Endurance Training

This season of Project Runway is just leaving a bad taste in my mouth, and I am not sure if that is because Suede (please someone, just shoot him) is still on the show or if it is the non stop babbling and drama going on. I honestly lost interest this week and thought that pretty much everyone was bleh about the whole thing. More nattering like this and I will be pulling the plug. I knew things would get worse once Stella left and there is next to no one interesting left to watch.

Maybe my mood will improve next week.

Top Design was okay... but I think I was still in a bad mood from the hour preceding this episode and once I saw that it was a Window Display Challenge with an article of clothing designed by a former contestant on Project Runway I knew I was going to be for a crappy evening.

Aside from Sweet P and Andre (more on that later), the rest of the designers were none of my favorites. Santino is an ass, Jeffrey is just too unkempt (hello? that facial hair is real bad) and I have no fricking idea why the other one keeps showing but, but perennial contestant and reality show whore Daniel (sad excuse for a designer) was there. I honestly don't see why some of these designers are still around except for their ability to augment the drama quotient in the show.

I had forgotten what such a drama queen Andre is ( I still have the fond memories of the 'Where's Andre?" thing with Tim Gunn) and when he has his meltdown over the wicker accessories I was just so disappointed with the entire episode. It was all bad drama left and right and I was hoping it was another double elimination. Finally after it all hit the fan and the dust settled, Big Daddy (his choice of words and not mine) Kerry is sent home ( See you later, decorator!), His partner, Wisit, was quite lucky but it was more Kerry's lack of leadership and decision making that sunk his ship than anything else.

Mrs.Shroder is the one to watch out for, she is pure evil and as usual she came out smelling like roses again. She was most upset about being teamed up with cutie Preston and once again tagged along and did well. I hope she gets Shazia next time around and we can see a complete meltdown that will have to be bleeped to death.

Overall, I didn't really see anything that interesting that was produced... but the Judges were in fine form. I am just worried after seeing the preview for next week with Jeff and the gang from Flipping Out that this will turn into some terrible incestuous relationship with the other Bravo based reality shows. Sure I like a good cross over story, but constantly having guest stars from your other reality shows shows a bit of desperation does it not? It's not necessary to add some more volatile personalities to the mix... keep mixing up the Challenges and make the designers show their skills. That's the reason I watch the show (well maybe for the eye candy as well) and if I don't see relevant challenges then I lose interest pretty quick.

Seeing the casting ad for Make Me a SuperModel Season 2 made my heart jump -- I loved the first season (and Ronny) and hope that this one is as fun and interesting as the first round. Unfortunately my hope is running out for a second season of America's Most smartest Model. There has not been an official announcement from VH1 and it may be gone for good.

The Rachel Zoe Project hasn't been catching enough of my attention (and there is so much to watch) that it has fallen to the wayside and I could really care less. It was an interesting experiment but I would rather have some whacked out show with Paula Abdul instead.Off the Watch List for you Rachel... that's not very trend setting is it?

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency had an extremely awkward episode this past week, and as usual I have to blame the editing. After all these months (years?) of whining about the editing, it looks like the voice over guy was off and the episode was worse than usual. Not only did it seem like it was forever before there was a commercial, but the dead air time was horrendous. Janice is still trying to play Den Mother and you know this is not going to work out well. I will still be following but I am not finding this season very interesting, it's just too much manufactured drama and it looks like they are having a problem deciding on who to focus on. Isn't some underwear company looking for new models? That usually gets things going.

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Crowded House

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency continued it's ­­­"Model House" edition with more fun and games with the models. I am still in awe and shock each time the models open their mouths and they say that they are so happy that they are living with Janice and living and breathing modeling ... it looks like it is a tough industry and any chance is better than no chance. I think I would have to be severely medicated to handle Janice for that much time. At least the woman is clean.

Oh the drama ... Kehoe is becoming a huge pain in the ass for all the other models and it looks like Janice's over botoxed patience is wearing thin .. it's about fricking time is all I can say ... I know the guy has brought in some cash but it only takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch and Kehoe is rotten to the core. Something has to change.

The photo shoot for Kentucky Jeans was great, and the whole issue about Martin being deaf (yes- we know-- give it a rest) and the fact that he is still able to model even with his huge disadvantage was too much. The guy is deaf, get over it. It certainly didn't seem to affect him and he did some nice work. My favorite part had to be when Dominic slammed Kehoe on to the ground. I miss seeing Danny and Dominic around more, but at least there is Chandler. I think the change around this year to the house is making it more difficult to see some of my favorite guys and this season is still one of the worst editing jobs ever.

Like that will stop me from watching ... sigh ... the drama is still sucking me in and luckily there is enough beefcake to keep things interesting to watch ( not that the show would be interesting with no dialogue, the stuff that comes out of Janice's mouth is unbelievable most of the time and I keep hanging on wondering what nutty thing will be blurted out next). Traci is getting another load of abuse dumped on her by Janice (it must be an annual event because she seems to do this every year with Traci, who seems to be getting some decent work) and I am pretty sure that the girls who do have an eating disorder are probably doing it because of Janice. It doesn't seem like the happiest of places.

The models are treated to a house call from Janice's Dentist buddy and it looks like there will be a whole bunch of work going on for some of the models. Our Russian beauty, Polina gets a nice makeover but the biggest drama had to be when Janice decided to cut Hazuki's hair. Crystal got all weepy eyed watching it happen and it brought back all those memories of her going through a similar experience on her road to being a supermodel. The only thing that makes me happy is the fact that Crystal is not dangerously thin this year and has some meat on her bones.

I think it's time for more gym time with the boys... maybe after they take the trash out?

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - More Manufactured Drama

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency is not only the place for that weekly serving of crazy, but it is well noted for it's eye candy as well ... and last night was no different with the auditions, the fun Nicolita swim wear shoot and the way hilarious cross dressing contest. You just never know what direction this show is going to take you in.

Kehoe was being the typical dick wad that all know and love... he's a bad boy (and knows it) and after the big announcement that Maurice (for his macho factor) and Crystal (super model) would be moving into the Model House played his homeless and sleeping in his car card.

I seem to remember that card being played last season by another model .. but some things happen in threes I have heard....

Janice feels bad for her baby -- (at least Kehoe has brought in a fair amount of work) but when we last saw him he was in gay roomie mode with Grant (last season) and it appears that things have changed. There is going to be all different kinds of drama happening at the house with Kehoe. Before and after each commercial break there are always a ton of previews and that whole "coming up on" bit that are like a plague in this show. If you took all of that out, we would have maybe a half hour show but as I have said before... if it wasn't for all the hot boys and girls I would not be interested.

Speaking of the hot boys .... it doesn't look like the Über hot Dominic is lacking work ... seems like every time he goes for an audition he is chosen and loved him in those Kentucky Jeans. I am surprised how quickly some of the new models are getting work and Chandler is turning into the big find this season. The guy has amazing eyes (dreamy), hot bod and is butting heads with Kehoe like crazy. Polina is this hot Russian model with huge fake breasts and an amazing hourglass shape. Unfortunately the more successful she is getting means the more that Janice will want to spend time with her.... and get ready for more of the accent parodies. Just another thing to love about the boss.

Cute (and yes I mean the deaf one) model Martin gets a gig (great stuff) but I don't understand how/why he always has his translator with him... I don't really understand how it all works, but it doesn't seem to affect his work so it's an interesting change. We'll have to see how this gay model works out or if he will go all diva like JP. JP is trying to be kinder and gentler so far this season and according to all those preview is rethinking the model thing. It's a hard industry and it seems to chew up and spit out these boys like crazy.

Chandler is one hot commodity as besides a couple of contracts he is clicking well with Xion, and it looks like they will be jogging together early in the morning. Xion certainly seems motivated and it'll be fun to see how this all plays out. They will probably have more privacy than when the Great Janice is in spy mode and hiding in her observatory like some demented super villain.

Traci is always on Janice's bad side and she has been given notice to shape up or ship out. Janice likes to use anologies like she is a mother bird pushing her baby bird out of the nest. Janice comes across more like a cat toying with a mouse and leaving it maimed so the kittens can learn how to hunt and kill. There are those subtle differences between how she thinks and how it is perceived sometimes. If Traci has a chance to bolt I say go for it .... she looked great at the photo shoot and is very professional and I think the fact that she is consulting an actor coach is rubbing Janice wrong more than anything else. Heaven forbid if a model would want more and become a super model. Isn't that what Janice wants for all her models?

Janice had fun with her the House models -- having the gender switch pageant was fun (and even better when Chandler took it to a whole 'nother level) and it was great to see some fun mixed in with all that drama. I loved seeing Janice off doing her shoot for Orbit (she seemed to think it was for Maxim but I have seen the Orbit commercial and it's classic Janice).

If you missed the Nicolita shoot then you missed the girls looking fierce (Traci, Polina and the late CC) and Chandler looked astounding. CC was late due to her period (yup that's what she said) and Janice handed her a new uterus over that one. As usual the episode felt like it was jumping all over the place. They really need to do something about that editing...

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Extreme House Edition

Things are just as crazy as ever with the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Last season ended with her not so shocking break up with business partner Peter, and this year Janice has the brilliant idea to buy a huge house, and relocate the agency there. This way she can live in the house and keep an eye on things. Janice thinks she is playing den mother, but we all know that she is just a control freak that wants to mold all the models into money machines. I think there is always that fine line between treating the models like human being and pieces of meat that Janice seems to dance around on a continual basis.

I was laughing like crazy when Janice decides to call Madonna`s brother (the one that wrote the crappy tell all book about his so called life with his sister) to help do a make over on her part of the house. In no time (yeah right), the changes are made and Janice is moved into the new place (the editing is as terrible as usual on this show) and it looks like Janice has a secret room to monitor the models all over the house from her suite, and it`s kind of like the Batman TV show with the switch to the monitoring room hidden in a mannequin.

`Let the games begin!` proclaims Janice.

I am already worried how Janice is going to use this against all the models but am jealous of her voyeuristic point of view. You just know that the models will get in to all sorts of trouble in that house. This year is like all the previous seasons, Janice likes to to stir things up so does another cattle call and gets more models. More models = more drama and before you know it her old gang are feeling miffed and putting on major attitude with the newbies. Kehoe was hilarious with his whole `You call those models?` riff and had me in hysterics. It seems that the boys and girls are as hot as ever. I am digging the hot deaf model (sorry-- hearing challenged) Martin who is a real cutie and fell instantly in love with Chandler`s eyes. All of the gorgeous eye candy like Dominic are still around and if there is any reason the check out the show it has to be him. The guy oozes hotness ... the bad news is that Janice still has Sorin dressed as her very gay bodyguard and the guy needs a break.

Still.. you know that you can`t drive by an accident with out looking and I will still have to check out the model disaster week after week to see all the drama that will ensue... sometimes you have to make sacrifices and this is one I am willing to do.

Weekend Rant - End Zone & New Beginnings

Shear Genius pulled out of the penultimate episode with a Seeing Double Short-cut Challenge (involving twins and a guaranteed place in the finale) and then the Avant-garde photo Challenge with guest Judge Michael Grecco.

The Short-cut Challenge (with guest Judge Jose Eber) was set up as a sudden double booking and our stylists got the twin of their client. I thought that Dee was going to explode (or need a towel) when she saw she had hot twins ... maybe this is some long time fantasy like many a straight man? Nicole did a dark and light version of her twins (I think they were the only ones willing to make that drastic of a change) and ended up winning the Challenge and getting a spot in the Finale.

I am not sure if I really agree with all the Judging (and Nicole has never won a single challenge to date) and I don't agree that she should be in the Finale. Maybe they had to make sure that the Finale wasn't completely gay ... just to be politically correct or some other crap -- it's not like there are tons of gay stylists -- anyways --

We get around to the big Avant-garde photo shoot and our Final Four are each given a season as a theme. Nicole gets Winter ,Dee gets Fall , Charlie gets Summer and Daniel gets Spring. They are all shown the set and get to meet with Michael Grecco (who seems to be quite the demanding photographer) and get a rough idea of how the shoot is supposed to go. Each of the stylists has a different challenge, Nicole has to work with her model laying in snow,Dee's client is jumping on a trampoline, Charlie's model is on a swing, and Daniel's model will be "lightly misted" during the shoot.

After all the prep and initial work it is clear that Dee and Nicole are way out of their element as they are struggling with the hair and how the shoot is going. Dee gets called on doing the same cut (again) that doesn't move well with the motion of the photo and if Nicole didn't have that Immunity and guaranteed place in the Finale she would have been out on her ass. Her shoot is a disaster is the snow and her styling is terrible.

Charlie seems to have not hit things off well with Grecco to start with, but quickly adjusts things and gets a nice photo off. I really think he is the only one in the gang that had even a clue about what the Challenge was and did a good job. He wins ( of course) and is very happy.

Poor Daniel has to deal with more than a simple misting -- his client is hosed down like she is on fire (Daniel doesn't miss a beat and is hilarious about the whole thing) but he has really missed the boat on the whole Avant-garde theme. Daniel likes to do big old Dallas hair and for some fracking reason has decided to put a big red braid in the model's hair that irks the shit out of Grecco and seals Daniel's fate. Our Texas boy is eliminated and next week is the beauty bloodbath between Charlie (sure to win) against Dee (nice try) and Nicole (no hope in hell).

Tabatha's Salon Takeover hit the airwaves this week with the first episode and I already completely hooked. I loved Tabatha in the first season of Shear Genius and she is so cold and robotic most of the time that it is really, really scary. You would almost think that the machines are starting to become self aware in a Sky Net kind of a way. Anyways -- Tabatha knows her stuff and when she arrives, people inevitably looked scared shitless and in panic mode. If you are not doing your job or don't know your stuff she will let you know. The Queen B has no issues with rank or responsibility as she takes over the salon and is clearly in command of those around her. I did like how they tried to show her softer side (not that soft but if you get a compliment from her you really appreciate it) and when she tells you to stop crying and put to put that energy in to something productive, I get visions of Martha Stewart on steroids. Tears are for the weak but at least she is not bad abrasive in that Gordon Ramsay kind of way and she can get her point across with out being too mean... just blunt enough to make your head spin.

Her first challenge was with a couple that really need some guidance and she did some pretty amazing work. It was nice to see follow up at the end of the episode (quite often you see the make over but not the lasting result) and to see how the changes worked out for the client several weeks later and if things have turned around for the better. I think if Tabatha has anything to do with, things will be successful, she doesn't look like the type to waste her time or energy.

Reality Bites Back hit another win with Hunting with the Stars this week. Why you may ask? "Because America always loves it when you pair someone you know from something with someone you don’t know at all." says hilarious host Michael Ian Black. Each of the remaining comics are paired up with what appears to be an E List “celebrity” partner and we get a look at them as they have time to practice their hunting skills. Theo gets paired up with the infamous Kato Kaelin, Amy is with former teen idol Leif Garrett, Chris gets Chyna the wrestler , and Mo is with none other than Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady). After the first competition (based on their intro clip -- The Preceding Edited Package Challenge -- this show is just too brilliant) Mo and Susan are safe. After the Capture the Swag Challenge, Amy and Leif are safe as they have collected the most Swag Bags with out being shot by the other teams. In the final round our remaining contestants(Theo and Chris) get to Hunt the Stars, and who ever does it in the fastest time stays in the game. I am not sure who said it but the "Look, Chyna just got shot in the balls" comment had me in hysterics. The level of parody these comedians are doing is brilliant at times.

Theo wins and poor Chris is sent home. The montage of Chris failing miserably was brilliant and I can't believe that next week is the parody of the Amazing Race -- The Amazing Disgrace !

My glut of the Olympics is almost over ( I am looking forward to the end after 2 weeks of intense viewing) and I can hardly wait to see the closing ceremonies. This was an amazing experience seeing so much of the games in HD and I can honestly say that I am humbled by the power and determination of the athletes. It's all very awe inspiring stuff and a nice change in the viewing schedule. I am looking forward to a more regular viewing schedule, and the return of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency this week. No other show screams Guilty Pleasures more than this one with all the hot gay and straight guys, the beautiful and kinda screwed up models and all those crazy and dramatic situations that Janice seems to put herself into. It looks like things are getting geared up for the upcoming fall season and I can hardly wait.

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Miami & the Big Finale

Another season done... and of course the HUGE cliffhanger ending... yawn ... if this episode hadn't had the requisite underwear modeling scene it would have been pretty close to being a complete write off.

Mind you, patience has it's virtues, and I do try to take into consideration the fact that there was a Writer's Strike and that the editing is horrendous on this show.

Besides the underwear runway, I absolutely loved the scene with Peter and Janice (and the lawyer) where Janice gets her lawyer to tell Peter that the Partnership is being dissolved, and seeing how Janice can hardly move her face. A little bit too much work and botox maybe?

Peter's comment that Janice has a little crazy woman running around in her head made me think that Janice has an insane Hamster running on it's wheel in her head and that made me laugh... the crap about whether or not Peter should sue and try to keep the company name made me snicker.... seriously Peter, have you not had enough crazy yet? Sucker for punishment?

Anyways... all is said and done and enough Janice for me for awhile.... I don't think I'll even check out Janice's other show since none of the hottie boys will be there, after all they make the show worth watching, and Janice really needs to highlight her boys more, and give her public what they want. It's all about beauty, hot bods, ridiculous storylines and a big heaping helping of crazy.

You can't get better than that.... see you next season Janice.

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - the Pilgrimage to the shrine of Versace

After leaving us on the edge of our seats last week with her famous " Everything you know is about to change" routine, Janice tells her models that she is taking some of them to South Beach to spread her wings and get the Agency more clients.

She also fires a model on the spot (Maria), who dared to arrive late (such a work horse that Janice) and gets all kind of information about Peter from her models. It appears that lots of them are unhappy with pay delays and the percentage they are getting and Janice says she will solve all these issues.... anyways some of the models are selected and off to Miami they go.

Besides the crappy editing that we have to endure in this show (the "coming up" and "previously on" parts really need to be cut down, but that would probably cut the show down to 30 minutes because it wouldn't be repeated all the time) we have to endure more drama with Crystal and Chris, and some pouty looks and "don't make me cry" business as Crystal jets off to Japan for a gig. She is looking even skinnier than before and her luggage weighs more than she does for the flight.

Janice has a meeting with Otto Models for a possible partnership and sets the wheels in motion to get rid of Peter (we have been hearing this all season)... and there is a big emotional scene where Janice cries. It's scary stuff....

There is a deal set up with Custo Barcelona and an impromptu meeting where CC doesn't get the message and accuses Traci of trying to manipulate things that seems overblown and over the top, but then again most things in this show are all manipulated in some way. There is more drama about the models not drinking at a party and working the crowd, which is kind of a repeat of the previous drama in this show. Sorin gets some bodyguard training and looks gayer than ever, but you can blame Janice for that one.

The biggest thrill of the episode was the pilgrimage to the shrine of Versace. Janice takes all her gang to pay tribute to Versace and she lays flowers on the stairs of his house. It's a huge cheesy moment and probably the biggest scene of the episode..... and it was all handled in a very supermodel way. Janice takes the models to a fancy restaurant after, where all the plates are less than 300 calories. Unfortunately this episode didn't really have any gratutious shots of the b oys so all in all it was pretty boring..... I think Janice misses the mark sometimes and really has to up the beefcake if she wants to keep us interested. Next week-- the big finale!

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Vegas Baby Vegas

In this week's episode we continue from where we left off last week....(the editing is atrocious with this series)....

...and it's still about her with "good friend and special friend of JDMA" Christian Audigier at the casting for his company Ed Hardy and a HUGE show in Las Vegas. There is all this drama created by her Business Partner Peter about Dominic and JP being already booked for a 2(x)ist job and that they shouldn't be at the casting.

Apparently Janice knows nothing of this, nor do the boys it seems and she dismisses Peter. Real classy and clearly shows the lack of communication between these 2. Anyways... dear Christian chooses a whole herd of models for his show and before you know it Janice and Co. will be off to Las Vegas for some fun and games.

We have a little interlude where Janice tries to play good Mom and takes Nathan to Ikea to buy him some furniture for his new place. She plays like a child on beds and couches, and then doesn't even pay for the stuff as she forgot her wallet. Gosh thanks Mom, that is a great gift. Nathan doesn't seem surprised and is probably used to Mom being such a basket case most of the time.

Once in Vegas, CC parties with the boys at the pool, while most of the other girls shun the sun like vampires. Desiree is especially vile and ends up being a major bitch. The boys look great in their trunks, and we learn that JP has been avoiding Rodrigo since their date. Guess things didn't work out ( we get this whole spiel from JP about not being ready for a relationship yada yada and what the hell is wrong with dating?) and JP comes across as a selfish idiot. Actually he always seems to come across like that (since his Survivor days) and is in sheer horror that he is *gasp* sharing a room with Rodrigo. Best way to fix that is to ignore the other guy and to avoid him, how very grown up. JP does do a little bonding moment with Payton and I wonder if there are ulterior motives with that....

Janice arrives and all the fun and games end and she lays down the law once again. There will be "No drinking on the job" as she finds it very unprofessional (we all know how Janice is known for her professional behaviour) and although a huge hypocrite, I have to agree with her and admire her work ethic. The models are kind of pissed but deal with it.

Rodrigo has his very own big gay moment, and goes on a Gondola ride with CC, who is completely shocked to find out JP is gay. Seriously? What kind of chemicals are in that skin product there missy? I am just surprised that Janice's number one fan (yikes), has no idea that JP is the big gay icon of JDMA. Maybe they don't have homosexuals where she comes from... anways Rodrigo pours out his heart and is really into JP. I feel sorry for the guy and then think he is probably better off with out the prima donna.

Janice and Co. go out to the big party put on by Christian Audigier. As Janice says, " He's French and you know how they love to party", and all of the gang are there except Desiree. Janice is pissed and if girls had pissing contests you know there is a big one going on right now between the 2 of them (I think Desiree is playing with fire). There is a "spontaneous" photo shoot, Janice and Christian fall in the pool and Desiree shows up late at the party. Nathan tells her to watch her ass and she pouts back that she "showed up and that's all that matters" ...besides she sees it as not part of the job and Janice has been trying to instill that work ethic in her models. It's all about networking...

There is more drama about Dominic and dealing with Jason from 2(x)ist to clear up the confusion over model bookings. Jason says that Dominic was booked, and that there seems to be some communication problems between Peter and Janice. Ya think? Janice works out a deal that seems to make everyone happy and is still fuming over Peter.

Finally we get to Christian Audigier's show and it is very Mad Max in that Post-Apocalyptic Thunderdome look. I was hoping for Tina Turner to pop up but no such luck. The models are hot hot hot and look fierce. Janice is thrilled with the show and it is a huge hit.

We finally get to the end of the episode and another HUGE cliffhanger (they have been promoting it non stop since the beginning of the episode) and all the models are assembled and Janice says "All I can say is that everything is about to change!"

and another badly edited ending... sigh.... so much manufactured drama and I can't stop watching...

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - The Oily Skin Episode

This week was all about oily skin, with our group of *ahem* straight guys getting all greased up for their extremely provocative photo shoot for Rufskin denim. I don't exactly see the denim, but watching the guys get all greased up, pumped up and put into such compromising positions makes it all worth while. Poor Danny is getting all worried that he is starting to get typecast as gay with all the racy photos he keeps doing, but I am sure he will find some way to live with it. Janice certainly knows her audience and the photo shoot is pretty close to the most homoerotic thing I have seen on TV since a Queer as Folk episode. As Janice keeps saying... I haven't see this much butt cleavage in years (not to mention all the touch ups and ass shots) but I don't think anyone is really complaining.....

I will have to say that I was impressed (to a certain degree) with Janice's son Nathan and the double date that he set up. Nathan wants to go out on a date with Traci (one of the models, the one that Janice called fat and got her try on her skirt) and invites her and gets JP to chaperon, and even sets up JP with fellow model Rodrigo. Pretty non homophobic I'll say.... and I have officially decided that Janice's show is probably the most gay friendly thing on TV right now next to Project Runway. Of course the whole thing about dating a model at mom's agency is not a good thing as Janice will not tolerate business and pleasure mixing (and we know how professional Janice is), so they whole thing is nipped in the bud (as they say) and Janice makes sure to get in several catty comments and lay down the law (Traci was peeing in her pants she was so terrified) before getting to our other oily part of the episode.

Sensiclear needs a new face for their product, and boss guy asks Janice for her models with the worst skin so he can put them on a one month regime of his product and then choose his next spokes model for infomercials and ads. Janice sees lots of little dollar signs in such a lucrative contract, and does a very specific casting call for models with bad skin. I guess she will have her high fashion division, her Latino division and now her bad skin division of models to work with. Some of her "regular" models get to try out as well,, and we get treated to lots of CC (mini Janice) who goes on and on and on and on and on and on (get the picture?) about her skin problems and how she has tried everything and nothing works and cries lots of crocodile tears. It was just too much... and too over the top and yes so much like Janice. Anyways CC gets chosen for the tryout (meaning she follows the regime for 28 days and then they choose their model) as well as some other models that look like they really need the chance to use the product. CC doesn't outwardly seem to have such bad skin.... but knows how to work it.

There is a bonding moment later with Janice where we hear CC say that she knows all about Janice and wants to be just like her... sort of the " I am your number one fan" routine and I wonder if she is a stalker and will try to kill Janice and take over for her.... just weird vibes that I get from CC and she seems off... but then again so does Janice.....

There was also some drama with one of the new girls at a photo shoot and it seems that Janice is getting more and more tired of her partner... I think he's out the door soon. Hopefully next week more stuff will hit the fan or maybe some underwear company is hunting for new models.. one can dream...

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Drama Drama Drama

Things are always in meltdown mode on Janice.... I am a firm believer in the kind of energy you put out is the kind that you get back (how zen), and Janice is such a wreck that obviously, things are always in chaos around her.

With so much manufactured drama (like last week's " Models for Jesus"), we also get thrown in the harsh realities of being a model, such as having to do jobs that you don't really want to and the whole eating disorder thing. I am still not happy about how Janice reacts to Crystal and her obvious anorexia (skinny is one thing but bones showing everywhere is just too much)... but then Janice does know the industry and the unrealistic body image that the guys and girls have to live with to be successful.

Strangely the guys have to deal with similar issues, but it usually revolves around being more cut and lean and we don't seem to have exactly the same issues... usually the guys are getting called on making out with a client or drinking and getting bitch slapped by Janice.

This week was Janice opening up a bit and trying to connect with Alexis who besides having some very lovely ribs (how skinny do these girls have to be?), has a self destructive side that leads to some nasty bruises and cuts.... hopefully Janice opening up and being available as a resource will make some small change for our girl, but I am not holding my breath waiting. A lot of these models seem to be pretty damaged goods (being pretty I guess is not what it is all made up to be) and problems seem to go hand in hand with the industry.

The boys (as usual), were having more fun with a little poker party (best done in your underwear of course) where the big topic was about exactly how gay Kehoe is. Pretty gay I would have to say but the boy does say he likes girls.... that will have to be continued later it appears.

Janice's son Nathan gets a bit of the spotlight after his return from Europe (mama Janice kindly offers to have him checked and flea dipped once she finds out he was in the red light district of Amsterdam), and there is a whole contrived scene of him getting Jennifer Lopez's fashion company (conveniently partnered with daddy) to do a look through of momma Janice's models. Of course his parents go on and on about how brilliant he is but we all know that ain't the truth and they are just trying to make him look good. Nathan may be cute, but not noted for his smarts nor his presence... the guy sounds like such a dolt.

Finally we get to the best part of the episode, where several of the guys are chosen for the very racy Rufskin shoot... very gay and very exposed. JP doesn't want to play and be typecast as gay (which I think is a smart move on his part) and once our guys are off to the shoot they get shaved, primped,oiled and everything but fluffed (you think...) and get very uncomfortable with the whole erotic vibe. Of course Janice has a moment of greatness when she arrives to check things out and raises hell about having Champagne there, and I do have to agree with her work ethic and her models staying clean for the shoots. It does seem more professional, just poorly handled as usual by our resident Diva. Things just start heating up with the photo shoot and surprise ... episode is over and now we have to wait until next week to see how far the guys are willing to go to get some shots for the company.... I can hardly wait.

Top 10 of 2007 - Reality Shows

#1 - My Life on the D-List - we can thank Kathy Griffin for another outstanding season of her show that not only gave us a hilarious look at the Gay Porn Awards but show the real pathos of her life and loss of her father. Kathy got an Emmy so you can "Suck it Jesus" and raised even more Hell with another special on Bravo. We better get more than 7 episodes this season...

#2 - So you think you can Dance? has helped bring dance back to the tube, and is the best damn competition between real dancers that you can not miss. Kat Deeley has charmed me with her height and "jiges", Mary Murphy has ruptured both my ear drums and we have seen the likes of Mia Michaels and Wade Robson make us cry with their powerful choreographies. Doesn't hurt that there are tons of beautiful boys either...

#3 - Dancing with the Stars - has managed to do the unthinkable and bring the variety show back to TV. Not only do we get surprising performances from celebrities that you would never expect to be decent dancers, but there is lots of humor, drama and fun. Besides, where else can you see Marie Osmond faint live on TV and practically hear the entire country gasp together?

#4 - The Amazing Race - there is a damn good reason this show keeps winning the Emmy each year for best reality show, because it is just that. We get incredible scenery and a fascinating trip around the world with real people that behave, well, like real people. There is always some one to cheer for, always the team that everyone hates and tons of meltdowns. It's like taking a family vacation and not having to deal with it yourself, and that can often be a situation that it's better to be an armchair observer than to have to go through it yourself.

#5 - Survivor - Still the original and often imitated, but no one succeeds like this show. Exotic locals, tons of Type A personalities and no food, you think that they must be border line psychopaths to want to do this show. I have watched from Day 1 and marvel each time at how we get such an interesting look at society and the interactions between people. I feel like an anthropologist studying social structure and love all the wacky challenges.

#6 - Project Runway - Bravo gets huge kudos for bring the drama of fashion back to television and making it so fabulous! Not only do we get some pretty wacky designers, but some very interesting challenges and the oh so gay Tim Gunn. Heidi Klum has made a new industry out of herself and paved the way for other fashionistas. I can't bear to miss an episode and find out who is in... or out.

#7 - Project Runway Canada - Imitation is the best form of flattery, and what better than having a home made version of a successful show? I had to check it out, to see if it had the same "oomph" as the original and was blown away by Iman as the Host. Her deadpan " In fashion, sometimes you just don't measure up." was delivered with such a tone that it made me cringe at home.... the challenges were different as was the supporting cast (but it was missing Tim Gunn and needed a Nina type character) but it was still gripping fashion reality and a scream to watch.... and yes I screamed a lot when they announced the winner....

#8 - America's Most Smartest Model - What other show would have the balls to have Ben Stein judge the intelligence of some pretty stupid models? Not only was there lots of eye candy and some pretty hilarious challenges, but we got to see more of the harsh reality of being a model and all the drama.... well actually I really only watched it because it was so terribly good and besides, some of those models were damn fine...

#9 - The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Janice is such a trip and everything is so hyped over the top that it is SO bad that it is good.... and besides it seems like every episode there is some reason to have the models running around in their underwear or posing nude or...... you get the picture. It's voyeurism at it's best with a big helping of crazy included.

#10 - The Soup - It's not really a reality show... but it makes it's living by talking about them and spotlights all of the best stuff that is on the tube, and is must see TV in my house each week. Joel McHale is absolutely brilliant (and his writers) for the stuff that they dig up each week, it has some of the best snarky comments that you will hear anywhere and has created new icons such as Mankini. I can thank Joel for pointing out shows like America's Most Smartest Model that I would have missed if he hadn't given me a peek inside, and he makes me laugh my ass off each week.

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

I could tell you all about the last episode, but suffice to say that Janice is completely out of control, there was some great model abuse and at least she has a sense of humor! Check out her "12 Days of Christmas", it's a new holiday classic in my home! You can probably figure out what part is the best, it has something to do with the number 5 ... Happy Holidays!

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - Same O Same O

Where are the hot boys? Hello? This episode was so much a rehash of last episode AND last season that I was completely bored. Surely Janice knows that most of us tune in for the eye candy and it was sorely lacking in episode 2.

I like to think of Janice as the wicked evil stepmother who has all these pretty models to emotionally torture, and it was way heavy on the torture and felt too staged and over the top even for Janice.

So a quick recap: Janice plays all concerned for her new Latina models and becomes * the celebrity * for the magazine cover shoot. No one else can touch her models but her as they are her property. Yikes. Another model leaves for greener pastures (bye bye Stina you were fierce!), there is another cattle call, and we get life lessons for Janice about staying in school. New models are hired, Kehoe's "room mate" Grant tries to pull a fast one on Janice but ultimately gets hired.( I don't see him listed as a model on the website though..) I guess being a cross between Boy George & Posh Spice helped that one out. One of the new girls has mysterious scars and bruises and our den mother plays all concerned. We hardly get to see much of the new models as this is breezed over too quickly.

Somehow Janice manages to walk that fine line between insanity and obsession and we get almost all the gang together for an audition for Fashion LA magazine. Curiously her new Latin division is not included in this and the new kids aren't too happy. Janice goes ballistic on a few models, and calling your models scarred and maimed before the client is always a good thing. Desiree gets special attention for being orange and having rug burn on her chin. In a shocking turn of events we discover the poor girl is anemic (what a surprise -- a model with a nutrition problem) and I wonder if Janice feels any guilt or real concern for this. 3 of the veteran models get chosen.

Traci is called fat in every way you can think of (all the sausage analogies were way bitchy) and gets poked and pinched by Janice in a most disturbing way before Janice takes off her size 4 skirt and dares the poor girl to put it on.

Such a cliffhanger.... will Traci be able to do this? Will she diet and exercise to be a walking coat hanger? Will she strangle Janice with the skirt?

I don't care... but those boys in underwear better be back next week .. isn't it time for boot camp?

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - La Vida Janice

Janice is back for her third season in all of her silicon and botox glory and it is WAY up there on the list of my guilty pleasures...

Janice starts out the episode with a big photo shoot (of herself naturally), showing the world again that she is the world's FIRST working supermodel and she is as fierce as ever... just seems that there is a bit of a filter over everything but I digress ...

Things are as chaotic as ever at her Agency... we get a quick recap of what happened last season and then bang, Janice has new clients (VIP Latino) but curiously no Latino models. Janice makes the most fascinating facial expressions while chatting with her new clients, and then promises to have some models for them in 48 hours, which means, joy of joy, another casting call!

This kind of reminds me of last year, but I don't care because it was a real hoot last year and there was so much to look at I had one of those sensory overload things.

There are a couple of more reasons to watch this show,and if you watched last season you got to see the whole underwear fiasco and our 2 hotties (Dominic and JP) who are modeling for 2(x)ist underwear. Dominic gets offered a full year contract to be the "face" of the company. At the next photo shoot it is such drama when they have to deal with his hairy arms and broken toenail. It's all more than anyone should have to deal with and I am free to help anytime.

Meanwhile back at the Agency, Janice has decided that she needs a bodyguard (probably from being SUCH a nice person... or bi polar) and she gets one of her on again off again models, Sorin, this Romanian metro sexual gorgeous guy (and way stoopid) to take care of her. She completely gays him out with a terrible cut off Security t shirt and the poor guy doesn't even know what to do. At least (to Janice) he looks good and that is what is important.

We have more drama with a model leaving the Agency, partly to blame due to her partner who no one can seem to trust, and then the cattle call starts and it's time to check out the new models. Janice has now decided to add a Latino division to her Agency and needs lots of pretty boys and girls to mold into super models. The language barrier seems to be the biggest problem, which has Janice sputtering out Spanglish left and right. I don't know how she can enunciate anything with lips like those...

After the initial culling of the herd, she gets all her call backs to do some pretty hot nude shots in pairs, and Janice loves the Latin heat. The funny thing is that most of the models are Latin mixes, but you have to admire Janice, she knows beauty when she sees it. She finds one model, CC to be *gasp* just like her, and now has a new protege. Some of the models do some great shots, and Janice is confident to meet with VIP Latino and get them some talent.

After the big meeting, 3 models are chosen and the day of the shoot it appears that they are no longer the cover item.... I can hardly wait to see Janice explode next episode !